If there is one thing that gets me down even more than never knowing what I will wake up to each morning, it is the idea that I have to take so many drugs each and everyday. This past week I tried to cut back on my Medrol, which is a form of prednisone, but I found out, once again, I just can't do it. Sigh! I take only 6mg daily, which to many may seem like a lot but I say only because at one time I was on 40mg. I cut back to 4mg last Monday hoping I could get off this evil drug with whom I have a love hate relationship with. Sadly, within two days my eyes were buggier than ever. We went to the beach with my mom and dad and after 10 minutes of watching the boats come in to the channel my vision became blurry, had focus issues, and my eye muscles were very weak. I felt the weakness throughout my whole body. It is unexplainable to say the least what happens, for me at least, when I try to cut down on this drug. I always hope this is the time, every time I try to cut back, but always learn it is a bad idea. I always have this crazy thought of how wonderful it would be to be able to cut another drug out of my daily regimen or at least cut it down. Every time I do it I learn a lesson I don't want to learn, I can't to it. It is annoying and frustrating plus a million other things that I won't mention. One of the worst things about this drug are the unwanted side effects. Balloon face/fat face, which in the medical world is called moon face, not sure I like any of these terms. I will say I have been blessed with NOT getting one of the worst side affects, weight gain. For some reason I lose weight or stay the same on this drug. There are some days, most days, I do not even want to eat and must force myself to do so. Yay for me one good? side effect for me.
It really annoys the heck out of me when I hear someone or I watch television commercials that makes medication seem like it is no big deal. Or if I hear people talk who are on cholesterol meds and they think they can eat whatever they want just because they are on a cholesterol medication. I am dying inside everyday hoping and praying that one day I can just stop one of mine while others live with theirs like it is all just a big joke, for me it is a very serious matter.
I do my best to do everything my doctors tell me to do. I eat healthy for the most part. I try to exercise which for me is walking around the yard a few times and becoming so worn out I have to rest for an hour afterwards because of my weak muscles. My foot has somewhat decided I should not be exercising now as when I do I have more pain. It is very frustrating when one good thing leads to ten bad things.Exhaustion, fatigue, weakness, crabitis, need I go on? This heat? Don't even get me started on that.
One other thing that scares the hebegebies out of me is when I have to go for blood work every three months because of all these drugs. I have the order in hand and where is says, reason for blood work it reads: Life Threatening Drugs. That is a little bit intimidating to say the least, but I have to have the mind set that this is a good thing, at least my doctor is top of things just in case the meds start to shut my body down.
In the end, you can see by reading this that drugs suck. Plain and simple, but on the other hand I am very thankful for drugs. When I allow myself to think about all the drugs I take and I come to a decision to cut back on just one of them I find I always pay the price. Symptoms return, symptoms I would rather not live with. I do not like the side effects of the drugs either, but then as I have said before there is always a give and take with everything. I don't care if it is drugs or other aspects of life, the give and takes are always there in any given situation. For now I push on. I increased the Medrol back to 6mg yesterday and I am feeling better. Do I wish I would feel even better? Yes, yes, and YES! But this is what I get and I will do the best I can with what I have, at least until I decide to do something stupid and cut back on another drug. Hang in there friends, that is all we can do!
God Bless!
Dianne
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