Surgery #5,6,7 done. I lost count but hey what are you going to do when you have a body that hates you and decided to turn on you every step of the way? You are going to take control and do something about it. This is the eighth day after surgery and I am in some sort of a pleasant mystical shock zone. I woke up from surgery and when I finally got back to my room and got up to pee I said to Rich, "Hey, no pain in my hip." We looked at one another and smiled. Thinking about this a day or two later as I was still pain free I wondered if it was because I was on pain meds and ibuprofen. I began to wane. The voice in my head started to talk again. 'The pain will be back don't worry. Are you sure you should have had the surgery?' On and on. You know how it is the constant blah blah blah that can take a good thing and turn it bad. Well, I stopped the pain meds over the weekend and here it is Friday and the hip pain is still gone so that tells me for the past five years the pain I have been living with was from the giant tube that should have been taken out years ago. I honestly have never heard of anyone having blocked fallopian tubes. The only fallopian tube horror story I have lived through is my Aunt's cancer. Another reason we took my tubes out. Like me the doctors kept telling her the hip/butt pain was from her back at least until the cancer started growing out of her butt and she died from it. It still angers me she had to suffer so but I have to let it go or it will eat me alive. I am so relieved and feel really good about having this surgery and hopefully saving myself from the genetics that plague me. I am almost to the stage of having no organs left to be taken out but hey life is good organs or no organs. LOL.
That's what it's all about. You know me by now. Everything that happens to me I must believe happens for a reason. I have to believe God knows I am strong enough to handle it all or it wouldn't be happening, that or he has a sense of humor I don't understand. Do I want it? No! But it is what it is. I am still blessed in so many other ways that the crap over shadows some of the hell. The other day our realtor called and asked me how I was doing. I told her as good as can be expected. She called about a showing but said she also wanted to talk to me about the surgery and my hip pain. She started to talk and she sounded like me, BS, before surgery. Did your hip hurt so bad you couldn't even lay on that side to sleep, ahh ya. Did you have a hysterectomy in the past, ahh ya. Why I asked her? She answered I am living with the same thing. Doctors keep sending me to pt and it is doing nothing. Ahhhh ya. It was like talking to myself on the other end of the line. Totally insane to me. I encouraged her to call her surgeon and get it checked out as this thing called hydrosalpinx does happen to woman who have had hysterectomies. The tubes get blocked or shut off so to speak and they may become infected and they grow and grow with no where for the fluid to go because you had a hyst and the fluid gets trapped, hence the pain. When we hung up she told me she was going to call her doctor because she just cannot keep living like this. I agreed pain is exhausting to say the least and when you have a full time job it has to be even harder. I will be checking in on her to make sure she takes care of herself and listens to her body.
Hence the, That's what its all about. I may get sick often. I may seem like I am complaining or wanting sympathy but oh no, not at all. I hope I am not coming across as a complainer, if I am this blog wouldn't be worth my time or yours. I hope I am not making anyone feel as if they need to feel sorry for me because there is absolutely no need for that. I have a wonderful life and I am blessed beyond measure. The point of this blog, and my life, as I see it is to help others.I sit here and wonder how many others are suffering from hydrosalpinx that is causing severe pain. How many people are being told it is their back when it isn't. My heart bleeds to know people are suffering with something that can be fixed so to say. Keep your ears open. It may be a friend, a mother, or you. Listen to people talk. If they tell you about something they are going through just maybe you can be the bridge to helping them feel better and encourage them to get a problem checked out and hopefully fixed. In the end helping others is just like the hokey pokey the voice in your head can sing to you, "That's What It's All About!! Mine does today!
God Bless!
Dianne
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