Obstacles. We all have them. We all struggle through whatever we are given at any given moment in time. Obstacles pass and we move on, at least until the next one hits and we start the process of moving on and learning all over once again.
I must admit and be honest that I haven't had many obstacles in my lifetime. I don't know why I feel guilty when I say or write that. I have been fortunate, very fortunate. I had parents who took very good care of our family as I grew up. Family vacations, laughs, food on the table, the best a child could hope for. I don't think I would have wanted more even though we weren't rich we had food and a roof over our head. Then I graduated and got together with Rich and life has been fairly easy for us. We both worked hard for our family, home, and we made good memories along the way. Obstacles maybe. Little ones which had to do more with money or helping others who were less fortunate even if it meant we had to go without. At least until we wised up and figured out that people do use you and there is a time to allow them to help themselves instead of depending on you. I'm not sure if that was a obstacle for us or just a very good learning lesson. We now are a little more careful about who we help but help none the less. We have had a great twenty nine years and we feel blessed beyond measure. We wonder. Why? Why are we blessed whiles others aren't. I guess it isn't for us to answer.
Oh ya I forgot there is one obstacle I did forget. Illness. This has been an obstacle that has crushed us at times. Financially, mentally, and emotionally. The latter mostly for me because Rich would travel to the ends of the earth to help me, and yes that alone is one of the worst obstacles for me. Watching him and our family suffer. I myself believe if this is our only obstacle in life we really are truly blessed. Would I feel the same if I had to watch him suffer over and over? Probably not, that is why I am so thankful it is me. kind of selfish I guess but I am strong and I really can handle it.
Tomorrow we face yet another surgery. I figured since I told the last family member today, Rich's mom, that I could share it with the world now. Wow don't you feel blessed? Ya.
This surgery story started with a beginning over fifteen years ago. I had a hysterectomy eleven years ago because I was constantly anemic and bled like a slottered pig every month. Enough said I am pretty sure you have a nice picture in your head so I will spare you the gorey details. Each month I was so sick I could do nothing for the first two days of my cycle. When you are raising children that is not how it is suppose to be. My gyno kept telling me it was normal, until I found a new doctor and she about blew a gasket when I told her. She sent me to a new gyno and he suggested we do a hysterectomy. I decided at the time since I was so young, only thirty nine, I wanted keep all my ovaries because I wasn't ready to go into menopause at such a young age. I wrestled with the decision at first but made it and keep my ovaries and had my uterus taken out. The past five years I have had issues with pelvic and back pain which I and my docs contributed to either my hip, bursitis, or the surrounding tissues in my hip area, at least until about six months ago when I had such severe pain I couldn't stand it. If you know me and what I live with on a daily basis pain wise you would know I would never go to the ER. Well, this pain sent me to the ER it was that bad. CT scan, Ultrasound and you have ovarian cysts. Okay sounds simple enough, go home and rest and take ibuprofen. Call your doc in a few days if it doesn't get better and have a follow up ultrasound. I had an appointment with my doc and she said no biggy we can put you on birth control to control the cyst. Me thinking in my head you are crazy ummmm, NO! I do not do good on the pill. One month later I had the follow up ultrasound and the issues were still there. I decided to take matters into my own hands and made an appointment with my hysterectomy gyno. He walked in the room and said, "I know what is going on with you just by looking at the CT, and ultrasounds. My fallopian tube on the right side is five, yes five, times as big as it should be, hence the left side pain, and the fallopian tube on the right side is twice as big as it should be. We will need to do surgery because they will never get better. The tubes are plugged something that is called hydrosalpinx. I am not worried about surgery I have had enough of them plus God is control not me. I am concerned to the fact that this is the cancer that my Aunt died from. The chance of cancer is very slim as fallopian tube cancer usually hits woman in their later years like in their seventies. My Aunt was eighty but complained about this back pain. I took her to the doctor and he told her she had back problems and to take tylenol. This still haunts me to this day as the cancer even started growing out of her back side, but according to the doc it was "just back pain." My heart aches because I can only imagine the pain she must have been in as she walked so bent over from the pain we could have used her back as a table. I am hoping we are catching this before it could turn into something worse and if it is we will go from there. Like I said and I truly believe God is in control. He has been by my side through all of this and I know when I am put to sleep he will be right there with me then too.
My point of this entry? BE YOUR OWN DOCTOR! If there is one thing I want to get across with this blog besides staying postiive it is be your own doc. if something doesn't seem right and your body is talking to you LISTEN! If I would have listened to mine who knows what could have happened? I am hopeful this pain will be gone as soon as the rest of my insides are taken out twenty four hours from now. It will be a prayer answered. I regret not doing it eleven years ago but hind sight is always 20/20. It is funny because I have always had that voice telling me I should have had it all taken out at that time. The voice always knows. At least mine does and now here I am. Here we are with another obstacle we will overcome. I am hopeful that surgery goes well and he can do it laparoscopic and I will be home tomorrow night right where I need to be.
God Bless!
Dianne
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