Last night as I was sitting thinking about a couple of dear friends who are facing serious health issues. I thought about how a moment in time can change your life forever. There are those times, good times, that change your life forever too. When you think of them they bring a smile to your face and even if you are alone that smile is there. You might not notice it, sort of like those times you catch yourself laughing out loud about a thought or a good memory. I have to laugh at this because Rich always says he loves to watch me when I am not aware he is because he says the faces, smiles, expressions I make in turn make him smile. It really is true about the little things affecting others. I believe it is just because he is so in love with me that almost anything I do makes him smile. Well, almost everything.
There good times that change us like having children, falling in love, having a pet, the list could go on but what about the bad things that happen that change us forever? The moment you get the news that you have cancer and your life is spinning out of control. The times people are told they have an incurable disease of some other sort. What then? Cancer, yes you can beat it and so many people do these days but something happens deep inside you that changes you. Surgeries that don't go as planned but you are going to be okay, eventually. You don't want to have to struggle with these life changing moments but you are forced into them. No choice. It's almost like the doctor carries a silver platter into the exam room and serves you up what you never ordered. The past few months one of our friends had a surgery that didn't go according to plan. The turmoil of a few month recovery more than likely turning into a many month recovery. The pain for his wife. She has to be the strong one in all of this she is the one who is positive and encouraging all the while falling apart inside. The moment that changed her life as well. The other friend who is waiting on news of a cancer he and his family and friends must face. Surely it can't be that bad. Our minds have a funny way of blocking it all out because we just can't handle all the what if's that come along with that life changing moment. We pray.
The times that life sucks in those life changing moments but at the same time something odd also happens. You don't want it but you learn so much about yourself and life. You learn who your friends and family are, yes, but aside from that what happens to the person and what happens to the close few around them is the odd part. There is goodness in it. I am sure many people who never had any huge life changing moments wonder how the heck that can be. In my heart I am happy there are some people who don't know what I am writing about because it means they have never had their spirit crushed. They have never had to question and ask why? Why the good people, but then again when I think about it aren't we all good people in our own way, have to get sick? We think everyone should be like us and when they aren't we think humm not a good person but really? I'm sure I have people in my life like that in fact I know I do. The ones who think I don't do enough for them. Does that make me a bad person? No. You see what I am talking about? That moment when your life changes it ends up changing you too. You begin to look around and you learn things you were too busy to ever face before. You begin to learn you aren't as strong as you once thought you were and you learn that the things that only happen to other people can also happen to you. You struggle emotionally and mentally but at the same time you realize how strong you really are just to get through each and everyday even if you didn't accomplish much that day. You learn you are a fighter and if you were told a year ago you would be fighting such a battle you would laugh and blow it off. Then it hits, that moment when it all changes. The other part you learn that is so very important is you can identify deeply with the other people who get their life changing moment served up to them. Your heart bleeds for them because you know. You know what they are thinking and you know what their family and close friends are suffering through. Like I always tell Rich I am a much better patient than caregiver. It is so painful to see others suffer when you suffer yourself you just want to take their pain and add it to your life because it is such a part of your life and you have become so use to and you do not want that for anyone else. You learn to live with it not because you want to but because you have to. This is it until your death so you may as well make the best of it. I almost don't know what to do for someone else who suffers because the pain I feel for them is so real it hurts. In the end I must believe that it is a good lesson for me to watch someone else suffer and use it to learn I am not alone and maybe that is why God made us friends. It is hard to put into words.
All I know is we take what we get served to us on that silver platter. What other choice do we have? When the doc walks in with that platter you can't slap it up in the air out of his hands and say. "I didn't order that, take it back." Life doesn't work like that. We are given our platter, all of us at one time or another in our life so we take it and we devour whatever is given. We fight tooth and nail and vow we will never give up. It's called hope. We pray for ourselves and others for God to give us the strength we need to handle our platter. Some of us win and some of us lose but if you think about it we are all eventually are going to lose whether it is this platter or another so make the best of each day. Love those around you. Thank the people who stand by your side and when they need you by theirs- do something. Anything. A card. A meal. A phone call. Anything! It doesn't matter because in the end what matters is that you took the time to care when that silver platter moment comes for someone else.
God Bless!
Dianne
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