Well six am or so this morning I awoke and knew I was in trouble. Migraine alert, so starts the dialogue that goes on in my head. I'm pretty sure this will be unbelievable to anyone who has never experienced or lives with someone who suffers from migraines but this IS how it is. I always thought and even hoped my migraines were caused by the arthritis meds but now that I am off them the hard truth tells me that they had nothing to do with the meds. It is for sure my neck issues. The thought of knowing this will be a lifelong issue is sobering but you can't change things so I guess you learn to deal with them the best you know how. For me it is that little voice in my head that argues back and forth, back and forth, until someone wins.
I never really thought about that voice in my head that is always talking so negative to me until I started yoga. It is there all the time but it is speaking even LOUDER on days like this. It is hard to drown it out with the positive.
So the day begins like this:
6:00 am:
Me: Oh no I am getting a migraine. Just get up or have Rich bring you some Excedrin Migraine meds. No, if I try to fall back asleep it will get better, it isn't really that bad yet. Plus don't tell Rich because all he will do is worry at work all day and that isn't fair to him. Close your eyes!
Migraine: Ya, that's right just go back to sleep I'll go away and not get worse, keep telling yourself that I love to torture you. Mawahahahahahah!
8:00 am:
Me: Ughhhh this is bad. Maybe if I get up and take my Tyelenol Arhtritis and drink a glass of water and some coffee it will get better. I am now standing with both hands on the counter asking God to take me and why asking him why this crap doesn't stop??? Answer please! He has a reason for you to be here, make the damn coffee and shut up!
Migraine: Coffee? It'll help? That's what you think.Tylenol Arthritis? What a waste on your liver you know in a few hours you'll be popping the Excedrin Migraine anyways. Mawhahahahaha!
Me: Don't allow that voice in your head to tell you any different!
8:00-9:00 am:
Me: Pretend like you are fine. Do something. I know take a hot bath that always helps, right? Hummm. Run the water, throw your cloths in the corner or wherever, who cares.Get in and soak. More hot water please as I am turning into a tomato, better get out before my BP causes a stroke. Hold on get the wash cloth and put on it on your forehead, over your eyes, now don't rip your eyes out of the sockets this WILL get better.
Migraine: Mawahahahahaha!
Me: Okay get out of the tub and just give in, go lay back down. Oh no! If I act like it isn't there I'll be fine. Check facebook maybe that will help you feel better. The mind over matter thing. Checked, didn't help, must give in and take the Excedrin Migraine. But you just took Tylenol Arthritis a few hours ago. I know, but if I'm lucky the two of them combined will shut down my liver and this pain will be gone. Don't talk like that your family needs you. Ya whatever. I just want this icepick to stop jabbing in my head. Plus now the light is getting more intolerable and I want to puke. LAY DOWN and go back to sleep. Okay I 'll try but not for long. I don't want to waste this whole day on a migraine I have things to do like laundry and picking up the house after a weekend of not doing any of that crap house work.
Migraine: Ah don't lay down please don't I love making your life miserable it brings me such great joy. Mawahahahahaha!
Me: Screw You!
10:00am:
Me: Finally laying down. The lights are making me crazy. Grab something, anything to cover your eyes. I am not getting back up to get a washcloth, just use the pillow case, sounds good to me. Rip it off the pillow and tie it around your eyes. Okay done. Almost as bad as running five miles but I did it. Only problem? The stupid ass light show that continues to go on in my head doesn't care if my eyes are covered or not. Whites, blues, grays, they feel like waves crashing in the ocean onto the big rocks that are on the shore and every time they hit the waves of pain are horrible. It's not that bad, It's not that bad. Go to sleep.
Migraine: Right now you sound like a nut case. I hope you know people will never understand what you just wrote. But that's okay I love making you feel crazy. Mawahahahaha!
Me: SHUT THE HELL UP I AM GOING TO SLEEP WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT BITCH! (yes I swear when I get upset and when you are like this you really don't care)
12:00 pm: A text comes through and rings on my phone.
Me: Ughhhhh a text. Oh well I'm not moving. Head feels better to some degree, I think or at least hope. I know as soon as I get up the hangover will begin. Ring, there goes the second notice that my phone has a message. Okay, okay, I'll get up, just a few more minutes. The thing that confuses me is I thought I was laying on the other side of the couch and when I opened my eyes to check the time I am laying towards the back. Weird! Stupid migraine. Turn over and check the time. Ughhhhh. I will, I will. 11:52. Really? Half the day is gone. I hate this. Plus I know I won't get anything done as I try to work though the hangover stage of this. The "I just got hit by a bus"part. Oh well get up and get another cup of coffee, maybe this cup you can actually drink without wanting to puke it back up. Okay I'm up.
Migraine: Dang it she's gonna win this one again.
Me: Damn right I am. Just like every physical issue that tries to make me suffer and want to die you will not win. EVER! Eat that! I need my blog to write, to process all that went on this morning and then I will move on. Do at least a load of laundry. Yes, it will be hard but I can do it. Drink lots of water this afternoon. Take Eva for a walk, Don't give into this.
Migraine: Once again I lose but there is always next time. Mawahahahaha!
1:00 pm. Here I sit at the computer blurry eyed and ending this ridiculous argument that goes on in my head many more times than I care to admit. But I win and that is all that matters. I must force myself to do something. Yes, the pain is still there but it is a doable pain. If you experience migraines you understand this pain. Life goes on whether you like it or not so you better just make the best of whatever slaps you upside the face, or in this case head, and move on!
God Bless!
Dianne
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