Wow I never thought I would write a blog in a t-shirt and no underwear but hey I was way to lazy to go down to the dryer so I figured what the heck I'll go big just this one time. Yup TMI but if you know me or knew me that's me. I have no idea why I am writing as I have been trying to rack my brain thinking of something to write in my blog the past few days. I do know one thing I am sleeping better as I started taking Zoloft a few weeks ago but just when I go to bed. My sleep was all but gone and it was making me absolutely crazy to say the least. It is amazing what sleep deprivation does to a person. Since I started the Zoloft I have been feeling like a zombie the past few weeks but I am hoping that is going to go away and is just a short term side effect.Then I wonder is it trying to make friends with all the other poison circulating in my blood. When my doctor told me it sounded like I had anxiety I didn't believe it. I'm still not so sure I believe it but what the hell, on this pill I already don't give a crap about anything so maybe they are right. I cannot believe I am taking a drug that makes me not give a crap. I feel kind of mean and a little more bitchy on this too so wow good thing I started this new drug to calm me down, hummm. Just don't rub me wrong or you are going to get what you get. I can't guarantee if it will be good or bad. Just sayin. All I know is I am having a harder time getting out of bed in the morning. It feels like I could just lay there with my eyes open and not really care if I move or not. I am wondering if I really want to do this to myself for the rest of my life. I don't like that, not being in control feeling at all. Even being ill a lot I still think I am a very level headed person who likes to research things and find as many facts as I can on certain issues. I would like to stay that way, thank you very much! I still do not believe I have anxiety. On this med I almost feel like I am walking in circles accomplishing nothing, a feeling I never had on Xanax. But I will say, yesterday and today, I have felt a little more alert after waking up and getting my body in motion. It is a sad day when a control freak is on a drug that threatens to take that away. I am in the beginning stages so I will give it a few more weeks and see what happens. I sure do not want to become dependent on, another drug, a drug like this if it is going to take my bullheaded, bossy, controlling demeanor away from me. It would be awful hard to live with myself if I lost that. After all everyone has come to love me the way I am so why would I want to disappoint them with being overly nice, compliant, and not in control? So the sleep saga continues stay tuned for updates.
God Bless!
Dianne
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