This past week has been a good week. I got to spend a few good days with Lola before she got sick again and they were really fun and full of love and kisses. I miss her so much but things happen and you have to deal with them. Like I always say, life goes on not matter what happens. People die, pets die, you must learn to live on and move forward. I know Lola would want us to be happy so just keep thinking of that and her last sweet kisses she gave to me. Depending on the situation at hand it is easier to move on at certain time than others but we must keep a positive outlook as much as posible.
My health over the past six weeks or so has been okay. I have had to decrease one of my meds because of the side effects and each week I feel myself going down hill more and more. I can always tell when I am not doing well because it is really hard for me to pull myself out of bed and I just want to lay there and not move. I more or less have to force myself to get up. I change my frame of mind as I lay there and think of something I could do to feed my soul. I think of my art room, humm, what could I make today. I think of the laundry because Rich does need clean clothes for work. In some odd way even doing housework gives me self worth. You see when you don't work, or you are ill, your world is small and even something as simple as emptying the dishwasher is a feat in itself. I know it sounds crazy but it is true.
I am not sure if the stress of Lola being sick and taking care of her for almost a month or cutting back on the meds, or the stress of all of this happening at one time has affected my immune system even more, I have had a rough few weeks. I have had two health issues hit at the same time. One I will not talk about the other I will because it may affect others. I have had problems with very dry eyes for many years. I know have Blepheritis. It is very annoying to say the least and a number of problems come along with both issues. Dryness, itchy, burning, swollen, red, gritty feeling, light sensitivity, and crusties upon waking. I use Restasis for my dry eyes but it does not help with Blepheritis. With this your eye lids and the area around your eye become inflamed. It can go hand in hand with autoimmunes diseases since they also cause inflammation. of course I would be one the lucky who have to deal with this too. I have to use hot wash cloths and keep my eyes clean with baby shampoo. I am trying not to wear makeup and keeping them as clean as I can, as I said it is more of a nuisance than anything else.There really is no other treatments unless there is an infection and I am sure I do not have that. I am anxious to see what my Rheumatologist has to say about this. My Neurologist is the one who mentioned this the last time I was there to see him. It seems to get worse then clear up and then get worse and clear up, on and on. All I have read on Mayo and Web MD says that it more than likely will never go away you just have to try to keep it under control. I know with all the inflammation I experience that can be hard to do but I will try the best I can to keep it under control.
The story continues. It never ends to tell you the truth. Every night when I go to bed I think to myself about what tomorrow will bring, I never know. I pray for strength to get me through whatever it might, or if I am fortunate what it might not be. Those are the best days when I wake up and nothing new decides to rear its ugly head. It is hard to live like this but it is the reason you must live one day and one minute at a time, feeding goodness into your head and continuing to move forward the best you can and the best you know how. There are the days you are flying blind but you keep flying. Spreading your wings and allowing them to take you somewhere that brings joy to your heart. What else can we do? The alternative is not an option, at least on most days. Hang on and enjoy the ride my friends!
God Bless!
Dianne
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