I went back to the doc today for my foot. It seems somewhat better after wearing the boot for two weeks. I can retire the boot but I cannot burn it, doc says keep it because it is good for either right or left foot. Ughhh I hate the idea of adding another device to my already large collection but I always do what I am told so in the closet the boot goes. No doubt I will hide it under some sheets so I do not have to see it every time I open the closet for a towel. It is funny when you are ill how you can look at something and it can bring back a memory of pain or suffering almost like you are back in that time, for now out of sight out of mind works with the boot. The best part is I can go from a fashionable boot to my fashionable stretchy pants hopefully in a few days. Hey, nothing but class over this way in our neck of the woods. I still need to go back to the foot doctor to see what he thinks as far as this ongoing pain, but for now I am free of the boot and very happy about that.
While I was at my appointment I brought along some of the refills I needed to get new scripts for thinking to myself it will be one less thing to have to do in the near future. I am going to the doc so why not take advantage of it, right? Wrong! I did get my refills but when it came to the last one, Xanax, my new doc said we do not give out scripts for Xanax unless it is for anxiety attacks. I do not suffer from panic attacks and I use this drug to get me to sleep. I have a terrible time falling asleep. Once I am there I am okay but it is getting my mind to shut off and calm down. My new doc wants me to try a new drug called Trazadone at a very low dose it is suppose to be very good for sleep, also helps with migraines. I felt like I was in a whirl wind as she was telling me about it. You see when I go to the doc I usually have a pretty good idea how the appointment is going to go but this one caught me off guard. I sat there agreeing with all she said, asked questions as she wrote the trial script and I was out the door. I went to Walgreens, picked up the meds and came home.
When I got home I started to think about this more. I talked with her about interactions with all the other drugs I am on and she said this one will be the same as Xanax when it comes to interactions. I AM A WRECK! My mind is filled with more questions and racing out of control. I don't think doctors or people realize what a huge stressor it is for a chronically ill person to change even one drug. It is a huge deal not knowing how I will react, if it will it do what I need it to, how it will affect me? I am not willing to deal with even more side effects than I already do. It is down right scary for me and stresses me out like crazy. I am going to talk to my Rheumatologist this week when I go about this switch. If she is good with it then I will give it a try and go from there.
For tonight and tomorrow night I will do the same thing I have done for the past three years and who knows maybe Wednesday night I will try the new med. I am going to try NOT to stress myself out over this change, but it sure is hard not to. I have been doing fabulous the past few months and one change can send me into a tail spin of hell. I sure hope this change does not do that for me. So, we all push on, all of us with whatever it is we have to deal with. We all have and know what works for us when we live with chronic illness. We may have a flare and it may make no sense at all. We may not be able to figure out what causes our flares at times, but sometimes we are able to pinpoint what has caused them to a tee. I hope this new drug will not be one of those drugs I take that I regret. Push on my friends and do the best you can! What more can we do?
God Bless!
Dianne
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