I am sitting here thinking. You might want to stop reading this now if you are one of the few who truly know me when I start to think. I have a tendency to get very deep, so deep that I can shut a room up in a matter of seconds with just one thought or question. Ha, it cracks me up when I think about it, but it is fun in an odd sort of way too.
I sat here at the computer checking facebook as I do every morning. My thoughts turned to the fact of how a chronically ill person keeps oneself from going crazy. I mean really falling off the edge and having to call the patty wagon to take us away and lock us in a padded room so we can bounce off the walls. I have not been well for the past few weeks and then BOOM I wake up today with much less neck pain and I feel a little stronger than I have felt. I even started to think of the things I could do around the house so that is a good sign. When you are ill you do not care about doing anything except surviving. I have been trying to get rid of all the stuff that laying around that we never use and donating it to Good Will in the hopes that someone else may need it and use it. The past week of having to sit on the couch and do nothing has been hard but today is my new day. The day I have waited for. It is here! I knew it would come and I will enjoy it and be thankful in it. I think it is about my 1,000th new day by now but I will take them as they come and enjoy them as much as possible before the next storm hits.
I have to believe that chronically ill people or people struggling with any type of illness or treatments are some of the bravest people in the world. The things we must face on a daily basis even when we are feeling well can become extremely overwhelming. Being one of these people it makes me wonder how we keep from going crazy. I think, for me at least, it is the ability to keep a hopeful outlook to the future, always telling myself that tomorrow will be a better day and doing what I have to do to get through the bad days. It isn't easy at all when you are in the middle of it but somehow you are given enough strength to do it. It comes from that inner hope and peace in my heart. I know God is watching out for me. I have the faith that all this is for a reason and I truly believe when I do die God will be there and he will wrap his arms around me and tell me it is all okay now and that I can let go. I think that is going to be the best moment in all of this pain and suffering I have to endure here on earth. I do look forward to that, but I also am still here, living, and making the best out of what I have been given. I think that is what keeps me from going crazy and I am sure that is what keeps many of you pushing on too.
Hanging on the hope. Doing the things you love. Being with the people you love and the ones who truly love you is really what this life is all about. Helping others every chance you may get even if it is just a smile or helping someone load their groceries in their cart at the check out. You think all those little things in life don't matter but they really do. In the end they are the reason we continue on. A stranger helping a stranger. A loved one dropping by or sending a note of love and taking the time to care. A husband who would do anything to make you feel better. A child who calls or sends a text to check in on how you are. All little things but all these little things add up, they keep us sane and make us want to look forward to a new day even when we are in the bad days. My hope for you is that you can do the same and look to brighter days if you are in the struggle. Look around you and care it may just be what someone needs to keep them from falling over the edge.
God Bless!
Dianne
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