Hello Friends! Since we brought our sweet little Eva home I don't have much time to write in my blog. You see, our computer is upstairs in the loft and I am so afraid when I take Eva upstairs that she is going to fall over the edge into the living room so I am not using our computer but my ipod. I am pretty sure most dog haters are thinking, why not keep the dog downstairs and just go upstairs. I suppose I could do that but all the times I have tried she whines for me and it gets annoying so it is easier to stay downstairs. Plus she is glued to my butt everywhere I go and it is hard to get away from her.
Since we got Eva I have been having the tv on more. Ughhh, ya I know! I haven't kept up on the news for a long time because it has a tendency to get me so upset and angry. Watching it the past few weeks or so reminds me why. I imagine when you watch it all the time you don't see how mad the world has gone but when you don't watch and then go back to it, it is so evident. It is scary to watch. I cannot believe all the madness that is going on out there. It makes me ask, "What is going on and when did all this madness begin?" It seems more killings and more people arguing over the stupidest things ever. People trying to tell us how we should and shouldn't live. I think the world is going mad. I have made the vow to myself. No More News! I think what pushed me over the edge is the Dennis Rodman thing with Korea. Seriously are we really getting so stupid? I know the government says they had nothing to do with it but I don't believe a word the government says anymore either. Korea hates us. Is that so hard to understand? I'm sorry to burst everyone's bubbles but there are some countries we are never going to get along with. Why is that so hard to understand? Also, what the heck is all this Hollywood crap interfering with the White House? See, this is why I need to stay away from the news, Hollywood, Government, and just plain stupid people. The Government says they are for the people? The hell they are. The people are the ones suffering not them. Have any of them had to wonder how they will feed their children or pay their heat bill? No! It is total BS. This is America, what is happening to it? I can't take the stress. I haven't slept nearly as well since listening to all of this either. Not that I lay in bed thinking about these idiots but I think watching it does something to the soul and disrupts the inner peace that is there. The peace is robbed without you knowing and you become more bitter and angry with every story you see and hear. So, starting today no more ding dongs allowed in my home. Well, except for the ones on facebook but I can scroll right over those and ignore and not read. Problem solved.
My prediction is this world is going to get worse and worse. As I look back and see all that has changed over the years I can only see trouble on the horizon. Is the end coming soon? I don't know, who does? The sad part is all the crap that is happening makes me want to stay home and away from all the bad, which I know is wrong too especially since I have so much to offer the world. I have thinking about this long and hard the past few weeks.
My new goal is to either volunteer for Hospice or be a big sister. I am working on that goal. I have no idea how long it will take to reach but it is weighing heaving on my soul. The way I figure is if I do stay in and do nothing to make the world a better place I become just like them and believe me I do not want to be like them. I am working on cutting down on my meds and for now that is my work. I have said before it is brutal. My hope is I can get off them and go back to a normal life. I don't know if this will happen but I am going to try and see. If not and I get worse I will go from there. I know it may not seem like a lot to you but for me it is monumental. Weaning off meds is hard. It is exhausting to the core but I am not going to cave in like I usually do. My goal: Get off meds and get back out into the world will become a reality! If I look at my future at it stands now it looks bleak to say the least. But if I look at it from a, 'off the drugs' standpoint then it gives me hope. Hope for a brighter day for me and hope for a brighter day for the world and those I can touch with the goodness I have in my soul. Here's to changing the World!
God Bless!
Dianne
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