Rich and I have been discussing, for quite a while now, the idea of moving out of our home of twenty-two years. We have actually talked about it for the last twelve and made one attempt to sell only to back out. Looking back we are so glad we stayed. We made and still make so many great memories here it which makes it even harder to leave. The warmness and relaxed setting in a log home always makes for some special times in a setting most people never experience. We take it so for granted. We had one friend whom every time he came over he would say how much he loved coming to our home. I loved that, plus he loved to eat and everything I made he loved so that made it even better. I love it when people like to eat and what a better way to entertain than with food?
The past few months the talk of selling became even more to the forefront. Why do we need all this room? Believe me our home is small but for just the two of us it is too much. The stairs to get to everything is becoming a problem, they are everywhere, believe me. The fears of me falling down them is becoming even more real. I have fell down them many times in the past but was fortunate to escape any serious injury but the older I get I know a fall could break a bone much easier than in the past. One more reason, at least for me, is I want to get rid of stuff. We have too much stuff and it is ridiculous. Stuff that just sits there and collects dust. Believe me, we are not ones to save but it is funny and strange how you collect over the years. I am so ready to get rid of all of it and only keep the essentials. It will be like cleansing the soul, at least for me. Pretty sure Rich thinks I am crazy when I say that but oh well as I always say, "It is what it is." I say, "I am who I am."
The worst part about moving is having to go through all the stuff and decide what goes out as junk, what the kids can take, and what goes to charity. I will not have a garage sale a giver see's no need to sell stuff. There is another huge factor, you see when you are fatigued to the bone even the thought of all the work makes you even more fatigued. I don't even know where to start. I know I have many friends I could call and ask to come help and we could bang it out in one day but the thought of having to ask people to help me, besides my own family, is sheer torture. I know I would cry the whole time. I am welling up just writing thinking about having to ask for help. But then as I think of doing it on my own there is no way I can do it and I know that. Then I think I could call a moving service and have them do it all but to have to pay someone to do something that I should be able to do myself is very hard to think about too. All these thoughts bring me back to the old me. The wonder woman I use to be. I was talking to Rich about this over the past weekend. How did I do it? Remember when I use to be able to......, or remember when...., I went on until the pain was to unbearable. As I talked my brain shut down because of the emotional pain I just couldn't bear it. Believe me, I can handle the physical pain but that emotional pain can kick you and kick you down hard at times. Times like this when you should be able to do simple tasks such as pack boxes. It is just too overwhelming right now.
There are so many dynamics to moving. Packing, putting the house up for sale, finding a place, finding a place in case we don't find a place, people going through your house which is creepy in itself, unpacking once we do find a place, and on and on. The emotion of leaving a place that holds so many precious memories. I am sure it will be a roller coaster ride but I also know it is the right move at the right time for us. Rich worries if something happens to him he doesn't want to leave me here because he knows I could never take care of it. I feel the same for him but since he does most of the heavy lifting it would be different if I go first. I also believe, and as I tell the kids, when we move into our new home we will start to make more precious memories there. I know this move will not only be hard on us but also hard on the kids. They grew up here and they say, "You are going to sell our childhood home? NOOO!" Of course they are kidding, at least somewhat. I understand what they are talking about it isn't about the house. So we all go on and we realize this is life and this is how it works. It really is a good thing I just wish it was easier to get from right now to settled in the new place. I know it will all work out and as Rich says, "Don't worry it will all be a piece of cake." I hope he is right!"
God Bless!
Dianne
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