Last Thursday I woke up feeling pretty good. I did a lot of stuff around the house, the morning progressed as usual but then I started to get some back pain. I am fortunate not to have to many issues with back pain so this was new for me. Two days before when I was at yoga class I had problems holding poses because of lower back pain but as anyone with chronic illness knows you blow all pain off until you reach some sort of breaking point. My breaking point came a few hours later Thursday around one in the afternoon when I knew this wasn't just a backache from doing too much, it was much more. You know when something isn't right and this was a pain that was telling me to get some help.
I sent a text to Katie and asked her if she ever experienced patients with this sort of pain in the ER and she said not so much and to call my doc. I did and of course as usual for me, she was booked. I made the decision I needed to get help so I drove myself to the Urgent Care hoping this was either a bladder infection or a kidney stone. At least if it was one of these two diagnosis' I knew I would get some relief sooner than later. You can imagine my surprise when the doc at the Urgent Care pushed on my stomach and said and I quote, "If this were an ovarian cyst you would be screaming off the table right now when I pushed here. I think you have a kidney stone and I am transferring you over to the other side, meaning ER, for more testing." At this point I was thinking to myself oh good, my diagnosis is going to be right. Urine came back clean. I sat in the room and thought to myself, "Now I have to call Rich." I did, he came, and I cried not out of pain but out of the sheer pain of another thing. I walked to the ER and had the CT scan. When the ER doc came back she said, "You have two ovarian cysts so we really need to get an ultrasound to make sure this pain isn't the cyst twisting around your ovary. At this point they could have done anything I was in so much pain. Ultrasound done. Ahhhh, that was painful not because of the actual test but because of the way I had to lay. I had to pee then when I came out the girl pointed to the table and said, "I need your butt up here," and she pointed and then patted what seemed like five feet of pillows covered with a sheet. I looked at her, and of course me with no filter said, "Seriously? Are you kidding me?" All the while wanting to run out of there as fast as I could because I knew the pain I was going to be in getting up there but was more worried about how I was going to climb down that mountain. I stared at the pillow tower in disbelief all the while I was a making plan of how I was going to climb that mountain in so much pain. All I remember saying was, "Okay, here we go." I screamed and groaned but I made it up there. Yes! My first mountain climbing in sixty second, good record. When I finally got up there I closed my eyes and waited for the pain to settle and then I thought to myself and chuckled because the worst part of the ordeal had to be for her because my big ass was practically right in her face when i climbed up. That'll teach her. Lol
By now I climbed back down the mountain and the ER nurse came back in the room and asked if I had my left ovary removed when I had my hysterectomy. Nope I still have both of them the she says, "Hummm well they can't see the left one," and then leaves. Okay, thanks but I know it is in there somewhere Keep searching please. Doc came in next and said the cyst was so big they couldn't see the ovary but to them it was no big deal. You have a very large cyst we will send you home with pain meds and then you need to have a follow up ultrasound in four to six weeks. By now it had been two hours since I had two norco and it hadn't touched the pain. She prescribed a double dose which made me sick. Ibupropfen is the best med for ovarian cysts but I cannot take because of one of the arthritis meds I am on. Saturday I was in so much pain I took my chances and started the ibuprofen, it was the most relief I had so I stayed on it until I saw my doc on Monday. She suggested I take the tramadol I have for pain so I started that Monday and it does help. The ER doc also said this will be better in one to three days, if not call us back. Well, after three days of hell I started to get some relief. Yesterday was better so I thought oh good it is getting better. I was able to do more yesterday instead of lay still all day. Put on the brakes, I woke up this morning after a good night of not much pain, and wham the back pain is here again. What a let down. When i saw my doc Monday she said these can take a long time to get better and they can get worse before they get better. ER docs don't know anything on specifics I am so glad I talked with my doc. I felt so much better after I left her. I also found out the second cyst that showed up on the ultrasound was on my right ovary and that is why I was now having pain on the right side, ER never told me this.
Now mind you I have had one ovarian cyst that I know of in the past. It was painful but manageable and I was able to live my daily life without too much problem. I think this one was sent straight from hell. Believe me I can take pain. It is a way of life for me. My pain tolerance is very high but this pain was excruciating to say the least. Screaming pain. I am thankful it isn't as bad as it was for those three days but very scared it could come back. I have never had pain life this. I hope and pray no one I know ever has to experience this.
What I learned from this? Because you know me everything happens for a reason:
1. Never listen to doc's. What one doc thought was a kidney stone and not a ovarian cyst was wrong.
2. Even though I lost three days to excruciating pain, it got better like it always does.
3. When you start menopause you are at much greater risk for getting ovarian cysts as your hormones go haywire. Yes, I am starting menopause. Hot flashes, night sweats terrible.
4. My husband will never have sex with me again since the night before caused the cyst, according to him anyways. I'll leave it at that. It just makes me laugh.
5. We as woman need to take control of our bodies and not listen to what anyone else tell us nothing is wrong when we know it might be something else. I personally need to learn when I am in pain it is okay to go to the doc or urgent care and not wait so long to go for fear of being told, "You are fine." Mostly because I have been told that so many times it has made me despise doctors or anything to do with the medical community.
6. When an ovarian cyst starts to release the fluid, and even before it does, it can cause only side and back pain and NO pain in the front where the ovary is because there is a sac of fluid between your ovary and your back. The sack does not like anything disrupting that area and it gets very angry when something does, hence the excruciating pain.
7. Follow up ultrasounds are important to make sure you do not need to have the cyst removed in the future. Once again as woman we must take control of our own health. I am having my next ultrasound April 10 in hopes the cysts are gone and I do not have any future problems with it/them.
8. I know, as I always have, I am not your run of the mill patient. If I have what another person has I will not present as the typical patient does. A lesson for doc's you CANNOT categorize every patient into the same pool. We are all different. My Rheumatologist calls me a difficult case, case not patient. Funny because when I saw the sleep doc guess what she said? "Boy, you are a difficult case." I chuckled and told her I have heard that before. I am glad I am able to joke about it and take it the right way because I am sure others could get upset if they were told that. I know I am. Anyways, ER doc who said this is not a cyst, was wrong!
9. It isn't my time to go. I have said this before but when you are sick you always wonder if this is it. Rich freaking out that I have a tumor, I not really caring and at total peace not matter what it is. If this is it then this is it. I know it sounds crazy but with all I have been through it all wears you to the core. I really am sick of fighting, it gets old, and then I remember, if it is my time I would go. Guess it's not. The good Lord is keeping me here for some reason so I will continue to press on and do the best I can for him. Making mistakes? For sure. A lot of them as a matter of fact but knowing it is okay and one day the glory will come.
10. Like I always say, "I am much stronger than I ever thought I would ever be." My strength is not in a physical sense but in a mental, spiritual, and emotional stand point. Believe me if I wasn't I would not be sitting here right now writing this because having one thing after another could eat you up if you let it. I always think to myself if I let it eat me up there would be no purpose or lesson to learn from all of it. I know one day it will all make sense.
11. Today I woke up. In more pain than yesterday but I woke up. There is a reason and I will push on at least until the next bump in the road of chronic illness decides to teach me another lesson.
God Bless!
Dianne
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