WOW! I had no intentions of writing a post today but as usual I read the above and it sparked my brain into thinking mode. I read it again and again, taking a minute and really thinking about it each time. It made me think about all the days I have had that have been no good. The days I have suffered through, some with a smile and others with a frown. I wonder how I made it through some of them. I believe, as I look back, I am a very strong person inside but I also believe it could have been the support I received on those horrid days. A text or call I received from Rich or our children asking how I am doing and when I answer back 'not good' it somehow helps me feel better knowing they know. It isn't because I want pity but in the knowing they support me and encourage me to know the day will get better and if not tomorrow will get better. It maybe the voice of the Holy Spirit telling me, "you can do this", and believing it. That voice telling me, "You are much stronger than you think you are my child." Or maybe it is the phone calls I get often from Hunter and Addi almost on a daily basis. Hearing the sweet voice on the other end, "Hi Nana, what are you doing?" Or the, "I ove ewe Nana!" All the while hearing the one I am not talking to yelling in the background, "I want to talk to Nana now." If that doesn't pick me up nothing else will. To know they think of me everyday and ask mom if they can call gives me more hope and strength then I could ever find in myself. It is the kisses and love of a puppy or a cat rubbing up against my leg that give me the hope of a brighter day. Yes, there are the days of struggle but there is still the hope and courage deep inside us and the hope and courage we find in others that can guides us through each day if we allow it to.
I still cannot believe all this struggle has no purpose. It has taught me so much. I wouldn't change it for the world. I know what real life is all about, at least to some degree. It isn't just some game where you are searching all the time. You find what life is about in yourself when you are ill. It is a peace, a comfort, love, goodness, and appreciation for every new day whether it is a good day or a not so good day. Everyday that is not so good makes me stronger so I am able to live the good days to the fullest. Illness keeps me focused on what life is about. It has helped me clear out the junk, not only the stuff I have purchased but sadly some people who have dragged me down for years. It is an ongoing battle that never ends but with each item given away to charity, each time I help someone, or each time I must make touch decisions I grow. Even though I have lost friendships that I treasured because I just don't have the energy to invest in them anymore I still have special friends with whom I know I could call and they would be here for me in an instant. Isn't that what it is all about anyways? Love of people, not stuff. Growing into the person God has intended us to be? I wonder if we ever really do know who that person is, our true self, or if it is all unveiled when we take our last breath of air. I don't have all the answers so for now I push on through the stormy days and through the good days. I hope you are able to do the same in whatever struggles you are facing.
God Bless!
Dianne
No comments:
Post a Comment