We have all heard the saying before: We are all a work in progress. I tried to find who came up with this saying but I came up empty handed. Oh well, it is good none the less.
What does a work in progress mean to you? Think about that for a few minutes or maybe over the next few days.
I have pondered on this question before but it came to mind this morning as I reflected on my day yesterday. The doctor's appointment I had in the morning that had me all flustered only to have it turn out much better than the voices in my head tried to tell me it would. I know for a fact that I am a perfectionist but yesterday at that appointment it became even clearer into my view when the doc told me I have to stop being so hard on myself. I know I do. I've known that for a long time, like my whole life, but hearing someone say it doesn't make it magically happen. Yes, people can say something to you but until you really ponder on it and take ownership nothing is going to change.
Over the years my perfectionism has gotten better only because of illness and being zapped of having enough energy to do it all, perfectly. I am to a point where I don't care anymore. If the house isn't clean oh well, those kinds of things. But when it comes to being hard on myself and trying to be perfect with my health that is another story. When you have had so many doctors beat you down and tell you, you are obese, or you need to do this or do that or that, it can eat you alive. My sleep issues have been so stressful for me. After seeing all these specialists I feel like I do everything wrong. I feel angry at doctors for telling me what they think is right for my sleep and comparing all of us into the one lump sum of whats good for one is good for all. This is not true and I believe doctors need to learn this. I felt comfortable enough yesterday with my sleep doc to tell her these feelings. She looked me straight in the eye, I love that, and told me, "Quit being so hard on myself. You have made changes and they are good changes it is a start." Hearing her say that was like a wake up call. It brought me to a place of knowing I must take her advice and stop all the insanity. Sleep for me isn't like everyone else, she agreed. I might have a great night one night and the next up all night in pain. This week has been one of those crap weeks of rolling around all night awaken by pain, but it is okay.
We are all a work in progress. Being a perfectionist pushes you into a whole new category. You want everything to be perfect today and you have a hard time realizing that making so many changes take time. I realized in the past twenty-four hours I need to work on this more. I need to accept a few more pounds than I should have. I use to be a smoker and honestly I almost bought a pack the other day, then I stopped. I knew if I had that one smoke I would be right back. I told Rich what happened and before he had time to speak I compared the smoking to being fat. If I go back to smoking maybe I can lose some of this weight but whats worse? Smoking or being overweight? I tell myself stay on track and try do everything right. I am aware of all that goes on with my body. Am I perfect? No! But it's okay. It really is. Because of yesterday a new journey begins, stop being so hard on yourself! I will begin a new montra WE ARE ALL A WORK IN PROGRESS! I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS! What do you need to work on? Let's do this together and win, not for someone else but for ourselves!
God Bless!
Dianne
No comments:
Post a Comment