Monday, September 12, 2016

What Do You Do All Day

I don't usually let anyone's comments or opinions bother me but there is one I hear over and over in my head because a certain person use to love to say it to me. It had to do with me not working outside the home. As I have aged I realize it had nothing to do with me not working but all to do with the persons insecurities because they had to work. At the time if I thought about it too much it would get to me. I would get more angry about the fact that someone else had the nerve to make comments about how I chose to live my life. I did work early on in our marriage until Richie was in kindergarten then decided I needed to be there for my kids. Best decision I ever made I might add. I wouldn't change those years for all the money in the world. I always had a plan in the back of my head that someday I'd go back to work when Richie graduated. When the kids became self sufficient enough with all I tried to teach them through the years. The years flew by, even the days I worried if I was being a good parent or doing the right thing, there and gone. As a parent it is a constant battle in your head if you are doing good for your child future or making wrong decisions on so many levels. I look back and realize and know for sure I did something right. No job would have ever given me the satisfaction and proud feeling I carry with me everyday. My middle daughter has a tattoo that says, No Regrets. I agree! Isn't that what life is about anyways? Doing what is right for you and not allowing anyone to sabotage that.

Here I sit eight years after Richie graduated and as I look back at my so called plan I realize the dream of going back to work didn't become a reality. My health decided it was going to take center stage and decided for me work was a pipe dream. Don't get me wrong the dream still exist but not at this present time. Hope. The reason I thought about this, as I have a few times before, is because I spent the morning sweeping and mopping my floors. Upstairs which is only 1200 square feet minus furniture, not huge that's for sure. It took me 21/2 hours. Seriously? Yes. I'm pretty sure I use to clean my whole house, wash my car, chase after kids, do laundry run moms taxi service, push the homework, and make dinner all in the same day, and then some. Today I cleaned the floor and I'm done. Being ill takes all the energy you can find just to do the simple things in life. In my head I want to do more but the body has nothing left. How do you explain that? It isn't easy. While I continued mopping I thought to myself, "You are doing it and that is all that matters." Instead of putting myself down about what I can't do I get a huge feeling of accomplishment by mopping my floors. I know others think of it as no big deal and you know what? I don't care what people think. Whatever. Staying positive and doing what is right for me and my health helps me put my tiny life in perspective, even though I'm not living now as I thought I would be so many years ago. Plans change and we adjust. We learn to make due with what we are given. It's a gift no matter what your circumstances are. I watch so many take life and many times people for granted and I wonder about that sometimes. When you become ill you take nothing for granted. You are so finely tuned into every aspect of life it's almost impossible to do so. In that I will end and say, "I mopped my floors today WooHoo! What did you do? " Pat yourself on the back for the little things. You deserve it!

God Bless