Monday, February 11, 2013

Soul Search

Wow this is a tall order to fill if you take the time to really dissect the words.

Always pray to have eyes that see the best in people. 
I'm not so sure I pray for this as many times
I tend to pray for the wrong in people. In my outward life I try my best to see the best in people but people are human and disappointing at times. It is our human nature to believe that we are the ones who are always right and the other person is usually wrong. I try to see others views if when I do not agree. It is my belief that I am who I am and they are who they are. There is no way they are going to change me so why would I think I can change them. That being said I also believe that your example, love, and understanding can change someone much quicker than your constant preaching or correcting them could ever do. I don't believe it is your job to change people into what you think they should be, that is God's job. It is your job to love and try, as hard as it can be at times, to just see the best in people.

A heart that forgives the worst. 
Humm, this is the hardest for me. Personally this is my biggest failure not because I can't forgive, I have that one down pat, but because I cannot forget. I really can forgive it is and  has always been easy for me but I can't forget the things that have been said to me or done to me. I wish I could. I really do. It is hard when you have had people in your life who have said and done things to you over and over and over again while you just took it like you were a punching bag always waiting for them to swing at you. Forgive, yes. Forget, not so easy. I think this is the one thing the good Lord is going to talk with me about when we meet face to face. I am just thankful he forgives me and will not remember all the times I betrayed him in my daily living. In some odd way this helps me to not feel so bad that I can't forget.

A mind that forgets the bad.
I have to believe this sentence depends on the person. What is bad to one person may not be so bad to another. The bad for me if I have to pick a bad thing in my life would be the chronic illness. The endless bad of one thing after another. If I allow myself to pity myself too much I am unable to see why this bad thing that has happened to me has actually been a blessing and really isn't so bad after all. The illness has taught me love, compassion, understand, and most of all patience. Some of these in myself and some of them I have witnessed in others. The biggest bad for me would be the misunderstanding of chronic illness. People just don't get it but that is okay. Like everything in life you have no idea what anything is like until it happens to you. You learn to lean on the ones who really do understand and you hide it from the people who don't. You learn to take all the bad comments people tend to say and let them enter one ear and leave the other. You have to. You learn to be the understanding one of the "outside" world because you know they will never fully understand your daily living. It is all okay, really!
(*Footnote-It has taken a loooooong time to get here.)

And a soul that never loses faith in God.
Of course for me this is the biggest and most important. It is my cure. The cure that gives me hope and gets me through each and everyday. The voice I hear daily. The Holy Spirit telling me I am much much stronger than I think I am. The Holy Spirit telling me I am special. I have been given this illness to show others that it is possible to be ill and still be happy. That I may be sick, a lot, but Rich and I will be together until death do us part because that is why God put us together. Rich and I talk about it a lot. He always tells me, "You/We may not get a cure for you illness but we have to believe we do have a cure, the medications are the cure, at least for now.The medications are a gift from God. They allow you to live a better life then you had before the medications." I like it when he says this because it always makes me feel better even on the days that are rough. I don't believe we will ever have the answer as to why some people suffer so much but, as for me, I have to trust that one day when my life is over all the answers will be shining in front of me with outstretched arms and a light that brings me comfort and healing. I will always have a soul that never loses faith in God because if I do I could never do this everyday.

I hope that you too can take these words and dissect them and learn something about yourself. By doing things like this we learn things about ourselves we may have never known and that is how we grow. We also learn to admit we are not perfect and we are unable to do everything right. We are human. We are sinners. There is no way we can run from that. The best we can do is try. We will fail, that is a fact, but we must continue to pick ourselves back up and move on the best we can trusting there is someone there leading our way to a better tomorrow!

God Bless!


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