Wednesday, November 20, 2013

My Wish...I Wish...

My wish for you, do you know that song? A Rascal Flatts song that could be sang by anyone to anyone. Of course being a mother when it came out many years ago I thought of my kids and I still do every time I hear or it play it. It makes the water begin to roll down my cheeks. After all, we only want what is best for our children, our friends, our families. The best for them, this is my wish! I was thinking about wishes one day last week and I grabbed a piece of paper and started writing them down thinking this could be a good blog entry. I filled the paper front and back and slammed it into a book on the coffee table. I totally forgot about it until Hunter pulled it out the other night and asked me what it was. I told him it was my notes and I slammed it back in the book without much more thought. Last night as I was sitting there I pulled it out and read some of the stuff I wrote and thought to myself some of these are pretty good and slammed it back into the book. This morning when I got up I thought about that paper as the sun shined in through the windows. A beautiful day. A gift and I am still here. Get that piece of paper and write a blog. I know we all have our wishes. Big ones and small ones. So here you go, my wish list:

I wish:

-People shared more of themselves and were more real. We tell or post all the positive stuff in our lives but when hurts comes we hide them away or let them go painting this picture of a perfect life. We all struggle and it is okay to share those struggles. On the other hand it is important to be able to work on those struggles and not allow it to be our identity. This is what causes the pain inside us that just mounts ups in our hearts. Think about it.

-People didn't have to suffer. Physically or mentally. You know I'm going to put this one towards the top of the list because I suffer everyday in some way physically and at time mentally. I am blessed with a great support system that keeps me grounded mentally but the pain? No one can take that away besides the drugs and sometimes they don't work or I don't take them because I want to win.

-People lived what they preached to others. It is funny to me how we can preach something to someone else but then we do the complete opposite without even realizing it. Guilty.

-I would have followed more of my dreams. My dream came true to be a wife and mother and I was fortunate to have had that but somewhere along the way I lost myself. The kids left and the house is quiet and I don't like it very much. I still am not use to having them gone. I miss the noise. My wishes are not theirs.

-I could do something big to change the world. Ya, I know we all do little things that make a difference but I am talking something big to help people around the world. I have no idea what it would be because I never took the time to think about things that I might like to do because I was raising my kids, while they were raising me too. Changing the world was the last thing on my mind because they were my world.

-There was no money. It clouds everything out in life. Money, money, money. You have to have it to live but you don't have to live to have it. It's nice to have nice things and a roof over your head but we have taken the materialistic aspect of money way to far. Like Rich always says, "It's just money. A tool. Help others." So we do, probably why we don't have much. Ha but what are we going to do bury it with us? NO so help someone who needs it more than you do.

-I could live my life over at times. I would have went out with friends the night one of my best ones was killed and held him tightly before he left. I would have stopped the hayride where one of our friends daughter was killed. STOP! Don't go! I am here to save you so the world can be a better place because of you. Life doesn't work like that so when bad things happen to the ones you love you let them go physically while your heart still loves and thinks of them every single day. Death, the one thing we will never understand until we deal with our own.

-We could hear all the answers we need to hear in whatever situation we need to hear them or at least take the time to listen to ourselves and the answers that we may already know are there, but just don't want to face them. Life is hard. Things happen. People hurt us. I was just telling a friend last night that sometimes we are pushed by someone and we swerve off the side of the straight and narrow and we have to find our way back. It takes time. Why do people hurt us? Sometimes there is no answer or explanation they just do. I wonder if they suffer as much knowing they hurt you as you suffer knowing they hurt you. Hummm Or is it sometimes the fact that people don't even realize they are hurting you at all. We become mad or offended and they have no idea they did or said anything wrong. I know that happens a lot with me because I have no filter, things just come out. Authentic to me but hurtful to others I am sure.

-I wish age didn't matter. Really! You watch tv now and if you are over 40 you are screwed. You have wrinkles? Oh my gosh you need botox or this or that. Your boobs are sagging? Get them lifted. You have fat? Oh my gosh you fatass you are going to die tomorrow. Really? I'm going to die anyways no matter how much I fall into the trap of youthfulness. Embrace age! With age comes wisdom, use it and be proud you have it. You earned it. Each wrinkle is a gift you can give to the world. Don't fall into the trap, please! Nonsense and someone is getting rich off your stupidity and men still like saggy boobs. Oooops sorry, no filter there.

-We all knew the true meaning to life and why we are here. Yes, I know from a biblical sense why but I am talking the big picture. It is crazy when you start to think deeply about it. I try not to but when you are a very deep person it is hard. I ask Rich why all the time. He rolls his eyes saying nothing at times and we move on as usual.

-We all could put our phones down and be in a moment without anything coming at us. The world is getting out of control with all this technology. I know, I sound old. I am and I'm proud of it. Wrinkles, fat, and saggy boobs. It's just that there is no down time anymore. It is always available. I/we are guilty. I ask Rich a question he says. "I don't know google it." Really, it happens everyday. I see the electronics even changing our relationship and truthfully I'm not loving it. I told him last night I wonder how we raised three kids without the internet or google. Humm we looked at each other and pondered for a minute. No answer from either of us on that one.

-I wish when people walked into a room they didn't just go for the people they know and gather in their comfort zones. It makes no sense to me but it is what it is. Kindness, it really does matter whether you think it does or not. A minute to show someone you care. I try to figure out why we avoid caring for our fellow human beings and I think the biggest reason is because we always think it has to be a huge thing we do. Reality is that it can be simple and small. People just want to feel loved and know they matter it isn't rocket science. Seriously. Take a minute to care for someone even if it is someone you don't know. In public do something nice for someone. Open a door. Smile. My favorite thing to do, smile. It blows peoples minds. I love doing it. Although I will admit there are those times I need someone to do these things for me when i am out in the world and it really does all evens out in the wash. 

I could sit here all day and write my wishes for life, not only for me, but for the world. Is it going to change anything? Probably not but it helps me to be a better person, especially on the days I don't want to be. We all need encouragement. We all need to be thankful for the life we are given even through the hardships we face that we may never get over. Follow your wishes and make the world a better place!

God Bless!

Dianne

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