Who pushed the button?

I remember back when I was a kid living in a time where making our own fun was all we had. We didn't have toys that worked for us or cell phones and computers to play games. Life seemed so much more simple back then. We rode our bikes a lot and I remember using a clothes pin to attach a playing card to the spokes so when you rode down the road your bike would make the clacking noise. I'm not sure what the thrill was but mostly I think it was the challenge of proving you could get that clothes pin to stay on longer than anyone else could before it would flip off and you would have to search for your missing card and pin only to start all over again. We did this for hours at a time. We also use to make our own fun with marbles, match box cars, and anything else we could find. Erecting things so if one thing hit something else it would cause a chain reaction like dominoes. If we had the car at the top of a ramp it might set off a marble to fall in a bucket. What does any of this have to do with being chronically ill? Before yesterday I hadn't really been thinking about it but last night when I was talking to Rich it hit me as I realized the reality of inflammation on the body. I have been going to the swimming classes twice a week and since I started the class my right foot has been progressively getting worse. I have a lot of problems with my left foot and have for many years so I depend on my right foot to compensate for the left. The plantar fasciitis has set in on the right and I have had to back off the pounding exercise in the pool for a few sessions now to give the foot a minute to heal. As I was talking to Rich about it last night I remembered what a doctor told me after I blabbed on and on to him. The reality that my foot is in a lot of pain forced me to tell him about the pain and swelling in my knee too. My neck has been more painfulI too since this foot thing started. I haven't been sleeping well at all because the night time pain throughout my body is causing me to toss and turn trying to find that sweet spot that is hard to find when inflammation is on overload. I explained to Rich as I have a hundred times that for most people who deal with plantar fasciitis that's what they deal with but for someone with inflammation an issue like plantar fasciitis sets off a war throughout your whole body. It pushes the buttons so to speak, hence the whole body pain issues. I never would have connected this had it not been the doctor I use to have who helped me with my neck and hip pain issues on a weekly basis. He use to tell me he had to be more careful with me because of the fact that working on someone like me can set off more inflammation. I sure do miss him because on weeks like these I would go see him and he would work on my muscles and give me some relief. Inflammation for me is like those games I use to play as a kid. The domino effect. One thing starts and another is set off. It is not only a physical challenge but a mental challenge. It is so easy to give into the, "I really don't feel like doing anything today," self talk when I feel like this but I can't. Rest is what I need but then mentally I feel like a failure. Yesterday I woke up later than usual because I had finally found a position that allowed me to sleep for a few solid hours. When I got up I sat in my chair and had a hard time getting my body going. Finally I told myself get up now! I did and in my usual fashion I talked to Eva because she follows me everywhere saying, "We are getting a late start today but at least we are starting!" Would it have been easier to sit down a majority of the day? Yes, but there are so many things to do why waste it sitting and feeling sorry for myself? I won't fall into that, ever. I'm in control of the buttons and I decide which ones get pushed, at least when it comes to the mental and emotional side of chronic illness, the physical not so much. I woke up today and the foot feels somewhat better than it has been. I've been doing art projects so the rest of not walking so much is paying off. Time will tell when the inflammation decides to subside and I can return back to my usual daily activities, until then I will win and continue to control which buttons are pushed!

God Bless! 

Dianne