Monday, April 9, 2012

What Do You Want- What A Question

Sometimes what you want isn't always what you need, but in the end what you get is so much better than what you wanted.
Read that again and take a few minutes to ponder on what those words really mean for you.
Sometimes what you want isn't always what you need, but in the end what you get is so much better than what you wanted.

When I found this saying in one of my journals this morning I remembered reading this many times before and I even recall posting it on my facebook wall once or twice because of how powerful just a few words can be. When you look at the world and how it has changed over the years this quote seems almost like a thing of the past, especially when it comes to material things. I watch as the younger generations make as much money starting out with their lives which took Rich 25 years to work his way up to that amount of pay. Rich and I appreciate every penny and spend it very wisely. It took us years to be able to afford the simple things that we "wanted" for our home. We never idolized having everything but the necessities like a nice couch, nice blinds, some of those things took us 25 years to finally be able to afford. The dreams and thoughts we would share with one another that one day we will do this or that, never knowing when that day would come. We have never taken long trips away together because it seems, first, we could never afford it, second, something else always came up, braces, glasses,  and third, something would always need fixing or the washer broke and we would need a new one. Believe me, I am not complaining at all, we have a wonderful life together and I wouldn't change a thing, we are simple people who can find joy in the simple things, like one another! I just have a hard time watching the younger generation get it all and have nothing to dream about, it saddens me. It seems now the take is, oh well if it breaks we'll buy a new one, or I want it now so I get it now. I guess this is just how the world has changed. Material things seems to matter so much more these days. The way I/we look at is we came into this world with nothing and we are leaving with nothing, so what is the point of having all this stuff? I am so happy we are able to find our joy in a kiss or a dance around the living room, those are the real "material things" to us.

As was meditating on the saying, Sometimes what you want isn't always what you need, but in the end what you get is so much better than what you wanted. I thought about this for a while and how it connected to being ill and I think I found some sort of connection. Monday's are hard for me. I do not look forward to them for totally different reasons than most of you. I have somewhat of a jealous heart, even though I am not a jealous person at all and maybe it isn't even a jealously as much as a hurt, a new week starts out and once again I am alone as everyone gets to go out into the world and connect with people. Yes, many people they don't get along with coworkers or they must go to a job they don't like, but the point is they get to go our into the world and be a part of something bigger. A chance to live their faith and share compassion with others. So, as I read and reread this saying I think to myself, maybe being out there in the working world isn't the greatest thing I could be doing on a Monday. I already know at the end of my fight I will win the best prize of all, but my struggle is with the 'in between' stage. The feeling useless and helpless to this thing called life. Being trapped, wanting to spread my wings like a butterfly and deposit good out in this world of a lot of unhappy souls. I struggle with this today but I will continue to tell myself that in the end what I will get will be much better than what I wanted today. Tomorrow is Tuesday, then Wednesday, then Thursday, and then YES Friday! I love Friday because it means I am not alone! Many times I wonder, if I hadn't gotten sick would Rich and I realize how much love we have for one another? Would I have had a job and we would have just continued to take one another for granted instead of being able to connect our souls the way we have since I have become sick. You see, another bonus when I read this saying, in the end what we got as couple is so much better than what my own selfish wants and needs wanted. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

In the end we all must realize, on our own terms what is important to us. If that is material things that it is, if not then we must feed and nurture that which is important to us, for me that is love, what is it for you? Life is good and we must make the best of each day whether we have it all or not! Today as I become sad or start to think I am useless to this world I will read and reread this saying and remember. I do matter and just because I think I need something, to be like everyone else, there is a reason I'm not and that is okay for today, just okay!

God Bless!

Dianne

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