I woke up this morning in a good mood eager to start the day. I finally got a half way decent nights sleep, something that many people with chronic pain do not get very often. My neck has been giving me so much pain at night it makes it very difficult to get comfortable and I end up tossing and turning all night long. The best part is I must be burning a lot of calories so I figure I don't need to exercise much during the day because I am burning a fair amount of calories all night.
This morning it was the usual routine, wake up, stretch a few muscles, get out of bed slowly, go to the bathroom and make my way down the steps. I tell you that is a long painful walk in the morning on somedays. Slowly grabbing onto the railing and/or the wall hoping this isn't the day I fall and lay at the end of the steps until someone finds me. No wonder I can understand the commercials that say, "HELP I've fallin and I can't get up." To the rest of the world these commercials are funny but to me they are a reality. Oh well, I figure if it ever does happen I'll just lay there and think about the good things in my life until they call in the crane to pick me up off my fat ass. Hahaha! Yes, there it is again, the humor. I couldn't make it through each day without being able to laugh. A lot! I will tell you once I am down the steps and get my coffee and take my daily handful of morning pills I begin to feel better and end up here or on facebook. The worst part is that the computer is upstairs too so now I have to worry about tripping up the steps instead of down, which in all actuality is much easier than falling down them. You see, when you fall up you have another step to catch you, unlike when you fall down. Ahhh a good side to a situation and NO I am not getting one of those Help I've fallin necklaces, at least not yet.
Today I was sitting reading my status updates and the phone rings, it was 9:20am so I thought who is calling me this early? Anyone who knows me knows you don't call me before 10am unless you are on fire or dead. Plus, if you call before I wake up fully I won't remember a word you said and I plead the fifth on anything I might say to you. I did answer the phone and it was one of my many doctors offices calling to remind me of my appointment Monday. Really? I know it is coming but I have been blocking it out of my head. I wasn't going to even think about updating my love note to him until Monday morning but when I heard the voice on the other end, "Hello is this Dianne? 'Ummm Yes,' This is Dr Glissons office reminding you of your appointment on Monday. Arghhhhh, 'okay thanks,' as in my head is saying do I have to, really already?' It is funny how you can wake up feeling alright and looking forward to the day and then a phone call can add anxiety to your schedule, much of which you don't want. After that call I had a few tears and right now they come again as I think of yet another appointment. The thought, just the thought, that another six months has passed and I am not a whole lot better since the last time I saw him, is very sobering. Oh well, such is life. Like everyone tells me things could be much worse and I know that but believe me it still isn't easy.
For today we push on. One minute at a time. Looking forward to the good parts of the day and the weekend to come, as my phone is ringing again at this minute to remind me of yet another appointment on Monday with the foot doctor, are you kidding me right now? Sometime I just want to give up but I can't. If I give up something or someone else wins and darn it I will not let that happen. I hope if you are struggling with phone calls or job problems or people problems or what ever other life problems you may be facing this very minute, I hope you have the courage to face them head on. Cry if needed, yell if needed, grab a hug from someone who really does care and move on the best you can. We have to. Laugh! What other choice is there?
God Bless!
Dianne
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