Tuesday, May 1, 2012

You Know You Live With Chronic Illness When

Yesterday something popped into my head that made me laugh. Yes, I laughed out loud all day long at myself. I was thinking about the day to day stuff that you have to live with when you face chronic illness and I made myself laugh even more once I started going. I thought humm I need to write these down as they come to mind throughout the day, so I did. Lucky, or not so lucky for you, I am going to share them with you and hopefully make you laugh at yourself  as I do at myself.

You know you live with chronic illness when...

-Someone you know complains about something your first answer is, "Oh there is a pill for that," and you are serious.
-95% of the reading material scattered though out your home is on health issues.
-Your ipod and computer become your best friends and you would kill over them.
-Every time you have to see a new doctor you want to puke all over yourself or all over him if he is an ass.
-Getting ready to go out for a night on the town takes you all day to get ready and by the time you get there all you can think about is getting home.
-When someone is in the middle of telling you a long detailed story and little do they know they lost you in the first sentence but you just shake your head in agreement like you know exactly what they are talking about. True story. Sorry if I have done this to you but you never knew did you?
-You become an actor. By looking at you most people would never know you were ill.
-You inspire your friends much more than you are able to inspire yourself.
-You threw in the I surrender white towel a million times but no one seems to care or listen.
-Your fantasies include all the physical things other people can do, running, dancing, staying up all night, etc. Oh don't worry there are still the sexual ones that are there too, no one can take that away from you!
-You begin to believe that dust bunnies really are your friends and you start to talk to them as if they really were real.
-Looking out the window is to hard so you keep the blinds closed at all times. It reminds you there really is a world out there and it sure can be painful at times. Hurry close the blind and only look at your safe space.
-When you finally do go out with your friends the only thing you can think of is a steaming hot bath and your spot on the couch. Or making one of your sexual fantasies come true.
-The first thing you do when going somewhere means scoping out the bathroom because you just never know.
-A home cooked meal becomes something your man grills while you throw a veg in the oven and call it good. The best part is your man still thinks you really are the best cook in the world. Ya, makes no sense to me either.
-Your four year old grandson is staring at you and you know he is going to say something and wonder what it will be this time. He then proceeds to say, "Nana your eye is almost closed on that one side again." He thinks it is some kind of trick like when I tell him I have eyes in the back of my head.
-You tell people you don't feel good and they look at you with those, well, you look fine eyes. Yes, we can read your faces, we are sick not stupid.
-You learn what loneliness really means and you actually begin to like it.
-You use your weekly medicine injections as a learning lesson for your grandchildren in the hopes that one day they may want to be a doctor or a scientist and help people who are ill.
-You need to see yet another specialist for yet another problem and you would rather die on the way to the appointment than endure the pain of adding another doc to your long list. You begin to look at your doctors as your second family, now that is scary!
-You could care less what the latest fashion is because you don't have the energy to shop and your idea of fashion is stretchy pants and a loose fitting shirt. You dress in layer because one minute you are sweating and the next you are freezing. Stupid drugs!
- You believe everyday is a true adventure because you never know what you are going to either wake up with or be hit with at any given moment throughout the day.
-Ten years ago if you had all the crap laying around the house like you do now it would have sent you into cardiac arrest but now you just look at it and think, WHATEVER!
-Tomorrow becomes your favorite word.
-It makes your day when you hear your husband tell you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world as he thinks you are a Victoria's Secret model, all the while you know the truth, but to him you really are. He always knows how to make any day just a little bit better! Cracks me up!

In ending, as you can read, we really can make humor out of any situation. It is a great day when you feel like you really are one of the fortunate people in the world despite what chronic illness has taken or does to you each and everyday. It teaches you to never take life, love, or the people who love you for granted. All the other stuff is just an added bonus. You learn to take pleasure in the small things, which as we all have heard many times before, really are the big things. For all of this I wouldn't change a thing when it comes to my lot in life. All I can do is keep on laughing. Every time my illness holds me back I try to do something that I can do. Every time my illness tells me you can't do that I just try to do something else comparable. I can't work but I can help Rich at home when he has some extra paper work. I can't meet a friend for lunch but I can send them a card or e-mail to let them know I am thinking of them. It really is all the little things that make a life worth while and for me that is enough. So keep laughing at yourself and keep giving love to everyone you come in contact with, even the strangers, and most of all DON'T TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY! It will all end one day anyways why not enjoy the ride?

God Bless!

Dianne

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