I can't believe it has been a week or so since I have written anything on my blog. It seems I always have something to write about but for some reason I haven't had the time to think about writing as I go off to work each day. It is a huge adjustment for me to have to get out of bed, get ready, drive to work, work, and then drive home. Yes, to most people who work these little things are nothing, but for me it is the whole day. By the time I get home from working around 2:00 pm I am done for the day. I must learn how to balance this all out. I don't know how. I haven't cleaned up the house since I started. Dinner has been burgers and veggies or fish and veggies, or whatever I see when I open the freezer. My energy is depleted but my mind is being kept busy so I don't have time to think about what my body is doing to me.
My foot continues to give me issues even as I wear this stupid ugly boot. I go back to the doc Monday and I am hoping I can burn this stupid thing. I figure if I am in pain with the boot on what is the reason to wear it? I will say between working and this foot pain the energy is sucked out of me even faster than it is on my usual stay at home days. Then there is the other worries because my lower back and hip are giving me issues because the boot and the tennis shoe I am wearing on my right foot are not the same height. So what is a person suppose to do? Boot, more pain. No boot, more pain. It seems, at least for me, I never have win/win when it comes to my health issues. If I am feeling strong and my muscles are working well then the pain is acting up. If the pain is at a minimal then the weakness is acting up. I don't understand it at all, but I do understand it helps to make me a stronger person in so many other ways.
I just posted a saying on my facebook wall that hit me right in the heart it says:
"Someone asked me how I hold my head up so high after all I have been through. I said, its because no matter what I am a survivor. Not a victim."
I absolutely love this! How true. If you spend your time sitting around feeling sorry for yourself because of this or that,what is the point of living? I believe that life is good. People are good. We all should try to do good and we should not sit around feeling sorry for ourselves because of what life has thrown our way. We must pick ourselves up and do the best we can with what we have. Yes, there are days it isn't that easy. Yes, there are days we all wonder what the heck all this suffering is about. Yes, there are times we want to throw in the towel, I'm not denying that. We are all human. I am just saying if we allow that negative energy into our lives it will drag us down fast and sometimes it can be very hard to pull ourselves out of that black hole of hell. I know because I have been there many times. When this happens I try, as hard as I can, to do something that feels good to me and is good for me. I have my list in my head of things that I know bring me back up. I won't list them all but I sure hope you are able to have a list in your head too. One of my favorites is to take a hot bath and use all the yummy smelling stuff I have. After I am done I am clean, I feel better from the heat, and I smell delicious. The best part is it drives Rich crazy so then I get more good stuff. If you understand what I am writing and you try your own special touches then you too can be pulled from the drudgery of illness or life. It isn't easy but it is doable. Everything is doable!
Here's to us!