I have an new plan as far as all the medications I am currently taking. I have made the decision to cut out a few of the medications that I have the okay to do from my Rheumatologist. I figure if I cut them out and I begin to get more symptoms I can always go back on them if need be. I almost feel some sort of liberation and control since I made this decision. My mind set is to not think about what I am doing and just do it. Every time I think about my symptoms returning I block them out and try not to ask myself, "Am I getting this symptom back or am I getting that symptom back?" I have to think in different terms. The one day at a time will come into play here and be very valuable to my mind and my soul.When I feel a symptom I am going to try to block it out if at all possible.
The recent drug I cut out of my regimen is Plaquenil. It has a side effect of blurry vision so when I cut the evening dose out a few weeks ago I didn't think anything of it because I was still on the morning dose. I stopped the evening dose and would stop the morning dose next. I figured if my blurry vision was going to get better from stopping this drug that could only be a plus. The crazy part? My vision has become much more blurry since I stopped the morning dose. It is going to be very interesting waiting to see what happens from stopping the evening dose as well. I am hopeful that over time my body will adjust to not having this drug running through my veins and I am hopeful my vision will get better as time goes by. I am very hopeful and optimistic. I am keeping the vision of less drugs as my goal to the finish line of this race. My vision may be worse but I have to believe getting off some of this poison will help me feel better. I am feeling more morning stiffness over this past week but I am hoping it is just the weather and it will even itself out once the weather is at an even keel, if that is possible in Michigan.
The next drug on my list to delete is the Prednisone. This drug is brutal to try to wean off from but I have done it before and I am hopeful it will go better than expected, if not then I will have to increase the dose and just deal with it. Prednisone is the drug the chronically ill person hates to love. You love it for its miraculous ability to help symptoms disappears quickly and you hate it for the other side effects that come along for the ride. Prednisone is the one drug I take as soon as I get up in the morning that helps me within an hour or so. I hate to say I do love this drug at a low dose but I also know what it does to my body. It is not the best drug to take as it causes many issues but as with any drug you have to outweigh the risks when you are ill. Do you want to feel better or do you want to live in pain? The question is easy to answer many times. I am hopeful on cutting back on this drug. Hopeful that even if I can't get off it I can at least cut out a few milligrams. I am ready to take more control over my illness instead of always depending on the drugs to do it for me. Over the past six years the drugs have helped me immensely. I am grateful to have had them when I was very ill. I am thankful they are there on my really bad days but I feel I am ready to at least try to take more control of this illness without the drugs. I have started yoga which I know is good for me, body and soul. I try to eat well but I am a work in progress there too. It is a never ending battle that I intend to win even if it takes me a few years to get it right. I will not stop until I cross that finish line and become the winner!