Illness. One of those words in the English language that make me cringe. Like the word capacity, oh how I hate that word, so of course Richie lovessss to say it to me whenever he gets the chance. I have no idea why that word makes me cringe it just does I even hate writing it here plus it's not like I would ever use such a big word. It is like nails on a chalkboard for me but the illness word, well, that is even worse. I can't say that the word illness makes me cringe because of myself but more when I hear it with another persons name attached to it. It seems we have been hearing of someone being ill a lot lately. My bro had double hernia surgery, Rich's bro brother has pneumonia and is in the hospital, but dare I say at the risk of sounding really slefish the worst of all is our dear sweet Addison having to have a mass removed from her neck. Let me explain.Yes, I hate hearing when any family member or friend is ill but a child? I know as adults we can all learn something from our struggles but a child? What does a child learn from being ill or having to have a surgery? It feels like when it rains it pours and the past two days have been no different. Then as I sit and ponder on Addi I wonder is the lesson meant for her or for us as adults? I can't imagine it is for her or us. How is a child suppose to learn a lesson when they can't even process what is happening to them? How is a grown adult suppose to handle seeing a child suffer? I will never forget her when she got home yesterday and how she showed me her hand where the IV had been. She just looked at me with her sweet innocent face and pointed to her hand, no words coming from her lips. I tried to make it like she was a rock star but my heart sank as her face was looking at me as if she wondered what just happened to her and why. Then she proceeded to point to her neck, which was wrapped full circle in coban with the stitches below, there again not saying a word just putting her little pointer finger on the spot where I assume the incision was, she pointed softly up and down on her neck. How traumatic for a child. How traumatic for her mother. How traumatic for her father who is a thousand miles away for six months on a training mission for the air force. It wasn't an easy day for any of us but we made it through with lots of love and prayers. I told Katie these are the times it is true how important it is to stay close to one another so you can just be there. I am thankful beyond words we have that bond!
When I think back to when our children were ill I remember feeling ill the whole time they were sick but I never had to face anything like they're family did yesterday. I think and truly believe when you are young your reality of life is overshadowed by busyness and the fact that truthfully not that many bad things have happened in your life for you to realize how fragile it really is. Probably a really good thing it is like that or we would never make it as parents. Then I think of the parents who have to face a cancer diagnosis or other disease with a child. How in the world do they do that? We could never know until we face something ourselves how hard and unimaginable it might be. You can never imagine anything until you go through it yourself.
Today we are thankful. Thankful both brothers are being taken care of and on the road to recovery. Thankful for Addi getting through surgery. Thankful for realizing how very fortunate we all are even when we face something that scares the hell out of all of us. We love and we move on from here. Surely more tragedies will plague our family, and I assume yours, but we deal with them as they come. We say the dreaded illness word and do what we have to do to take care of the illness whatever it might be at the time. In the end you begin to think about that word, illness, and you learn that it may be awful ,it maybe scary, but it is also love. It brings you even closer together than you thought it would before it hit. It makes you love even deeper and support those who need it. When you are in the middle of the dreaded word it's awful but in the end you see you are even more blessed then you ever thought possible.
God Bless!
Dianne
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