Our family has had a week that has been somewhat of a roller coaster ride when it comes to health issues. Last week Addi, my brother and Rich's brother all had health issue. I am happy and relieved to report that both Addi and my brother are recovering well. It is such a relief when the people closest to your heart make it through health issues when you really have no idea how they be after the surgeries or hospitalizations. We worry and fret over all of it but we are thankful this week for Addi and Dave feeling better.
Last week at the same time Rich's brother was having issues with a cough which they thought was a lung infection but we received not such good news yesterday as he/we found out what they thought was a lung infection turned out to be cancer. Yesterday was the brick day. You know those days? You are slammed down with something and it just feels like a brick hit you square in the face. You are swimming in your thoughts, the thoughts you cannot control. The bad thoughts that try to take over and tell you the worst case scenario. I always wonder why we go to that place first. Human nature? It really makes no sense what so ever but for some reason we do it. Is it because of all the hurts we have had in the past and for some reason it is so much easier to do the crap self talk over the self talk of hope and love? Personally after the almost eight years of being ill and never knowing what is going to happen from day to day I have learned to do more of the hope and love talk. I have learned if I don't I will be eaten alive by the crap. I must cloud out that garbage and remember there is still good in so many situations even when I think of only the bad.
In all honesty? If you know Rich's brother, Mike, at all you know he is as bullheaded as they come. A true fighter. If anyone will kick some cancers ass it will be him. It is a scary unknown road ahead for all and the plan of life will be altered for some time. How long? Who knows. I guess that isn't up to us. The way I see it is if we still have air coming into our lungs we are here for a reason. To live life, ill or not. People get cancer everyday and people beat cancer everyday. I recall reading quite a few years back that more that 90% of those who are diagnosed with cancer beat it. Those odds are odds of hope, not despair. I have also learned and witnessed what cancer does to people. It is really amazing. Relationships become stronger in many instances. Happy times become even more joyful even in the midst of treatments. Love. Yes, love. It is heavy in the room when you are with a cancer patient and their families or even a survivor. Cancer changes not only the person with it but those who surround them and love them. It is a lesson of sorts maybe that we don't take everything for granted. I know I do. I always assume Rich is just going to be there but in an instant that can change. We live life like that when things are normal and not rocky. If the boat isn't being rocked then we just live in some sort of a cloud. We complain about the absolute stupidest things that really mean nothing at all. We get depressed if we don't have something we want or if we can't do something instead of enjoying the moment and really truly loving those around us. I am guilty I know that. I could go on and on but I will save more for later brain overload as I try to process all of this.
We go on from here and take it one day at a time but most of all we keep the HOPE!