Darn it all, I really didn't have time for this today. It is already Wednesday and I feel like I haven't done a darn thing this week. Today is the day I was, I am going to, catch up so to speak. Catch up? Hahaha that always makes me laugh out loud because I have a list in my head of ALL I am going to do and I'll start and get so pooped I will just laugh at myself. I try to catch up everyday but always seem to get misled by something else. Like right now. I had no intentions of writing a blog today but then I saw the quote above and it struck a cord with me and I had to come here. I do believe when I come here on a whim I always learn more about myself than when I try to plan in my head a topic to write about.
I read the above quote. Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about the joys. I read it and I read it again but I am sure with a different mind set than most. I sat and stared at it reading it even again. My first thought was that I didn't agree with it. In fact if anything I am total opposite when it comes to the first sentence, Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. I never tell people my problems. Do they really care? Most people are so stuck in their own issues they really don't want to hear yours. Plus, most people will just try to fix it anyways so whats the point? People ask me all the time how I am feeling. I never tell the truth because it isn't worth the looks and the deer in the headlights look I get back as they try to think of something to say to make it all better. It's easier to tell them I'm okay and move on. That being said my family gets the truth, most of the time. All they have to do is look at me and they know, where as anyone else who see's me occasionally would have no idea, with the exception of a few friends.
The next sentence, Break the habit makes me ponder too. The main reason I don't complain or tell people the truth is because I know, as you do, some people who all they do is complain. Complain, complain, complain. Nothing is ever right. Seriously? These are the people you would avoid at all costs if you could but sometimes you just can't. I will tell you, being ill and having to listen to people complain is so annoying. Many times I want to bash them in the face, not literally but you know. I know that sounds awful but come on for me listening to people complain about stupid drama sucks up energy I need to breathe. Drama is something I have tried to delete from my life. I know, drama is everywhere but you can make a choice as to where you will use your energy or not use your energy. When you are ill and your body is trying to keep itself working the best it knows how listening to complainers sucks up the precious energy I need to exist. You don't make time for the crap anymore because you are so worn out from just being and breathing. Pretty sure that makes no sense to a healthy person reading this compared to a chronically ill person, but it is what it is.
The last sentence, Talk about your joys. Joys, think about all the joys you have in your life. Start to feed your mind with all those joys. When you think a bad or negative thought go to your happy place. It makes life so much easier. Is it easy? No way! It is a constant struggle as your head always wants to focus on the negatives. The negatives in life, about others, and even about yourself. It is so much easier to be positive, not only to the world, but to yourself.
So why am I so closed about how I really feel? I believe if I keep it to myself and within my own inner circle I just might inspire someone to believe in themselves. Give them hope that it is possible to be happy even in the midst of never feeling well or in times of struggle. Positive always over shadows negative. If I didn't believe it and live it I would never be able to get through each day. If I didn't believe it I wouldn't be able to come here and write in my blog. If I didn't believe it there wouldn't be a reason to go on because life as a ill person is a lonely and sometimes scary place. It is a place that gets old real fast. A place that is different from the world. A place that most people do not understand unless they have lived it or live with someone who is ill. How do you explain that? Plus, in all honesty? People just don't have the time or want to care. It is what it is. Who wants a friend that is sick all the time? No one. It is exhausting to be around a sick person and understand why they never want to go out when you are ready to party. It is exhausting to tell people no when they get upset because all they want is for you to say yes. This is why I must, must, must keep my positive attitude because if I allow it to go to the other side, WHAM it can bring me down real fast. One vow I have made to myself is I will not allow it to bring me down and when it does I cry on Rich's shoulder and move on. After all he is the only one who understands it fully. He is the rock that keeps me pushing on. The one who looks at me and knows without me saying a word. He notices when I sleep more or don't do as much a I usually do. All the time loving me at what ever place I am at. His love and support have helped me to get to this place just as much as my own positive attitude has. Life goes on. Whether you are ill or not we all have hard times we fall upon. It is all up to us to deal with them by either complaining, being negative or pushing on and being positive. I know what side I choose! Do you?
God Bless!
Dianne
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