Sunday, August 21, 2011

Wednesday May Be Hump Day But It Is Not My Favorite Day Of The Week.

I am sure many people wonder why the heck I post so much stuff on Facebook, heck sometimes I wonder myself. Here I sit on another Wednesday putting off the inevitable. For most people Wednesday is the middle of the week, not a great day, not a bad day, just half way to their weekend. Oh how I wish I could look at Wednesday as hump day just like everyone else does. Go to work, complain, gossip, laugh. live. Ah to dream. I think posting all this stuff on here helps me to deal with all I must face on a daily basis and it helps me get through my day, in some odd way. Lately I have been feeling very well and I am afraid to write that but I am going to take my chances anyways and hope it doesn't bite me in the butt.

My Wednesday's usually start waking up with this horrible dread in the back of my head. A dread that is there when I get up but it is way back in the farthest part of my brain. Hidden. Why? Because today is shot day, Oh how it pains me to write that, the day I inject myself with the lovely drug Methotrexate. I now call myself a Meth addict just to keep myself laughing.  Now, I really wouldn't mind so much if that was all it was. Just a shot. Unfortunately it isn't. I know by tomorrow night I will be doing just fine, it is just the twenty four hour span from now until then that worries me. I wake up telling myself just do it right away when you get up. Then, I find myself waiting, waiting, waiting and waiting, then when I finally look the clock and it is noon. Ok, after I eat something...noon comes and goes and it is now 3:32 pm to be exact and I sit here still putting it off. I am almost certain if it were any of my friends you would feel and do the same thing. The headaches,  the yuck feeling that you really cannot explain, it is just there. Energy drained from the core of your body, not being able to sleep tonight. Sleep for me is like air for all of us. Without it I am in big trouble! Many people may think this is no big deal but for a person who deals with illness on a daily basis this is a very big deal.

The best part of Wednesday is knowing that when Friday comes and I wake up I will be good as new. For one thing I will be able to see much better. I tell you the few good days I get through the weekend from my horrible hump day makes it all worth it! Also I will have less fatigue and more energy on the weekend so I can enjoy Rich, the kids, and my family, that makes all the hell worth it! So even though Wednesday is my dread day it gives me everything I could ever hope for, the love and joy of spending time with the ones I love and the ones who truly love me. Yipee! Now that I have talked myself into it I think I will go inject myself and look forward to the weekend!

God is good even when things are not so good!


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