Sunday, August 21, 2011

What Is Going On Today? Or Is It Just Me?

Today is not such a good day, so what to do? Write a note of course. For some reason when I write this stuff I may or may not get a response but I do get the satisfaction of unloading my emotional crap here for all my friends to see. Plus it does help me to feel better for some reason.

The past few days have been brutal. I am not sure if it is the dampness, the heat or just a typical flare of the arthritis. Whatever it is I don't like it. Seems I have bad spells daily with the MG symptoms and they may get a little better and boom the joints swell, I'm in pain, I feel sad, and I am just not feeling well. It is no fun having pain, it is no fun feeling ill, it is no fun feeling like I am to weak to do much of anything. But, I do anyways. Fortunately last night we were able to go out to dinner and pick a few things up at the store. It was actually fun and of course I was with Rich so that always makes everything easier for me. Hon, I'm getting tired, Hon, I'm getting weak we have to get out of here are typical statements Rich hears from me. Well, then just go to the car and get the air going. I'll finish and be right there are typical statements from him. What a man I have!!

Today I am blessed enough to have Addi come spend some time with me so Dave and Katie could take Hunter to the air show in Battle Creek. I am thankful I had her. She gave me no excuse what so ever to sit on my duff and feel sorry for myself. But then I do sit here while she sleeps and get angry, mostly at myself, that others can be out enjoying this hot day when I have to stay in because the heat will exasperate my symptoms times ten. Oh how I wish I had enough energy to go to the beach and feel the sand between my toes. Sad part is even on good days that cannot happen. Walking in the sand would make my muscles so weak I wouldn't make it far at all. But on a good day, in the near future, I may be able to walk the pier. That will be happening this summer at least once!

Then there is a few weeks from now when my family will be tubing and I cannot go. Of course they all want me to and will go to any extreme to get me there, but it just isn't worth it. I joked to Richie when he was begging me to go, get a raft with a lounge chair in it so I will have something to hold my head up for me and maybe I'll go. He said he would of course, but even then, I know it is something I cannot do. Those are the most painful times for me, much worse than the physical pain and symptoms.  But then I will still win because I told Katie I will watch Hunter and Addi so I can't wallow in my own self pity. After all, I can collect lots of hugs and kisses and I love you Nana's!! I can already hear Hunter telling me ten times that day, I missed you Nana and come running up to me and wrap his arms around my neck and hug me. He tells me this even if he saw me the day before and I love it!! Ahhhhh....I am beginning to feel better already.

I think my friend Carol is right, I need to start my own blog and maybe get some more response to encourage me through the tough days like this.

Happy 4th of July weekend to all of you! Enjoy your time and never take a minute of it for granted! God is still good when things are not so good!

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