I was sitting down last night and I don't know why but my inner soul was talking to me telling me that today I needed to post something about mom's. Now you must understand, for me, my inner soul controls my world. I get messages sent to me all the time about doing something and I must listen. If I get a message sent about a certain person and I send them a card because of my soul calling me to do so, it is almost always for a reason. You have no idea how many times someone will tell me the day that card came was the day they needed it. Or I might pray about someone and let them know the next day and they make clear why I prayed for them. One time I woke up in the middle of the night and a sweetie from the youth group that I was the leader of popped in my head. I had a strong call to just pray for her. Mind you this was 3am in the morning so I prayed for her. The next day I sent her a message and told her what happened. She wrote back to thank me and said, "I was up at 3am puking my guts out and was sick all night." Wow! To me that was unreal. You see I hadn't seen Kate in a very long time and why at that moment I would wake up and feel the need to say a prayer for her could only be a God thing not a coincidence.
Disclaimer before I start: I do not profess to be an expert in the field of raising children but I have done it three times and they all seem to be pretty well adjusted so I must have done something right. In fact, for me, they are my greatest achievement in life and I am very proud of all of them!
So here we go mom's. I keep getting the feeling that someone is struggling with the whole mom issue right now. Mom is feeling over loaded. School has started again, maybe mom is raising kids and juggling work, trying to keep the house clean, do the laundry, shopping, running the kids all over to all their events, and then squeeze time in for homework. It isn't easy because after all of this there is no time left for you, no time to just be. If there is one thing I learned from being a parent, and screwed up on royally at times, is that you must take time for you. Even if it is a simple bath at night with the door shut or taking a walk without anyone pulling at you needing something. Don't lose your self in being a mom. I failed at this miserably. Although I do remember locking myself in the bathroom at times when they would knock on the door and I would say just leave me alone for a few minutes, not much me time there but it was something.
Or maybe it is the mom with the teenager or child they are not getting along with right now. I love the quote I put on facebook today because I always say it. If you child hates you then you must be doing your job. Your job is not to be your child's friend, it is to teach them to become well adjusted adults. Believe me, you will become friends when they are grown up and when your job is pretty much done. It is funny because you spend all those year nagging and bitching and then the day comes when you send them off into the real world and you must rely on all you have taught them, all that they have watched you do, as they go out in the world on their own and become responsible adults. So don't ever feel bad or apologize for being mean and nagging all the time, that is what molds them for the future when you are not there to catch them when they fall.
This leads me to another point. I have watched parents who literally do everything for their kids and then wonder why or complain in later years why they are so irresponsible. I am telling you from experience, be the boss! Make them do things, don't feel bad for being a parent. That is your job. I was MOM- Mean Ole Mom and now my kids are always calling or stopping over. I must have done something right!
The best part of the job and my favorite is to just love them. Love them wherever they are at in what ever stage they are at. Allow them to explore and do the things they want to do and not the things you want them to do or the things you wanted to do but were never able. I see this so many times, parents pushing their child to do something they really do not want to do. Let them choose! Accept them for who they are and just love them even if they drive you bonkers at time.
I have one thing I always tell young mom's when they ask me about raising kids. I say, "When you look around and see or think of all the people you know who have raised kids whom are grown now, they all got through the troubles and the hard times and you will too. We all do somehow, someway. Like they always say this too shall pass and you know what? It really does!" One day you wake up and see the fruits of your labor and you will become proud. You wonder how you ever did it. but you also look back and laugh at some of the things you went through. My son has a really fun way of remembering and laughing at all the lunatic things I use to do and we just crack up. Like the time I chased him with the wooden spoon or the all the times he spilled milk on my laminate floor and I would flip out because it is like hell cleaning up spilled milk on that flooring. Or the time Katie didn't get off the bus in high school and I tracked her down, found her, and went bolistic on her in the car. It is a good thing it was just her and I in that car because I would have died if someone heard the way I talked to my child, I still cringe, but she never did that again. Now she always says, "Believe me, you DON'T want mom to get mad at you." and we both look at each other and laugh because we know what she is talking about. Thank God children can forgive their parents too for some of the stupids things we do. I could go on and on but you get the picture. What you do today becomes what you look back on and laugh about later. Of course there are all the good memories too but those are too many to list. My point is that you will make mistakes and through all the hard stuff comes the good!
My main point is don't wish for your kids to grow up. It seems we spend so much time wanting them to grow up that we forget to enjoy them at whatever stage they are at. Then before you know it they are grown up and you missed it. Believe me time does fly by. You think they are never going to grow up and then guess what? They do and you miss all the craziness, as insane as that sounds, you really do. The thing that is funny is people will say, but then you have grandchildren. I agree but nothing takes the place of being a parent. Or people say, now you have grandchildren to make up for all the mistakes you made with your own children. This to me is such a sad statement because I never felt I made mistakes raising my kids. I enjoyed them, I did screw up, but I loved them and to me that is the best thing you can give your child love and acceptance. So don't regret anything just do the best you can, the best way you know how. If your parent did something that you didn't agree with then do differently!
Now, keep marching on mom because you are raising the future generation and without you your children can get sucked up in this crazy world of selfishness. Teach them goodness and how to love others and treat others with kindness and never forget, they are watching every move you make, even when you are not talking.
God Bless you in your journey called motherhood! You have the greatest most rewarding job in the world!