Tuesday, January 17, 2012

It Happened Again

Here I sit once again suffering. As you all know by now I am not one to complain, about much at least, but today is one of those days I just need to vent. So who better to vent to then the whole world? I hate being sick. Seriously! After this past weekend of fun I have been slammed down by the Mack truck once again and think it continues to run over and over me. I knew when I made the decision to play in the snow this weekend, as I always know, that I would pay for it. I was only hoping this just might be the time I get my free pass. You know the free pass I am talking about? The one where I can be a normal person in a normal world and not have to pay dearly later. Just one time that is all I ask, this wasn't it.

We had such a good time sledding with the kids Saturday but I knew when I was out there that I was going down hill. The more I walked in the snow the heavier my legs became. Addi wanted to be held every minute because of her ear issues so I tried as hard as I could to hold her while at the same time putting her on the ground to muster up enough muscle power to only hold her for a few more minutes. I continued to repeat the cycle. Many of you with muscle weakness can appreciate this.

Then Sunday morning hit and it was like the light switch had turned from doing okay to being so weak that just walking took all my energy. You must understand I am not one to just sit around and do nothing so when I am forced to stop because my muscles are weak and I am very fatigued it is very emotionally draining for me. I am still in the weakness funk and hoping the switch turns back to the okay mode before long. So as I sit and wait I keep myself busy with art projects. Work a little, rest. Do a little more, rest. It is not a fun state to be in. But as I always write or tell others, "Things will get better." They will! I know that is true but when I am in the middle of a flare it is so easy to forget the good days will come again. You are only able to focus on getting out of this funkville ASAP! I hope it happens soon. I am thankful I am able to come here and write things to encourage others but sometimes I really need the encouragement in return. I appreciate all of you taking the time to read my blogs not only on my good days but also my bad days.

God Bless You!


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