Friday, February 10, 2012

Human Nature

Human nature is such a funny thing. We all have it and it takes us over for no reason at all. There is no way of controlling it. It is almost unexplainable when you think about it. We all have our beliefs and ways of living which have nothing to do with the true realities of human nature. I looked up the definition of human nature and this is what it said:
Human nature refers to the distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that humans tend to have naturally.
I do believe we are all born with the same human nature and it is our own thoughts, upbringing, surroundings and such that teach us to believe in one way or another. Whether that is religion, politics, or other social issues that we all seem to agree or disagree on. Either way, whatever we believe it is our own sort of human nature I suppose.

The human nature I am referring to is that of love. I believe when things are going well for us our human nature allows us to take everything around us for granted. I am not talking about the material things but more the people and the love that surrounds us. I find every time I am slammed down with my illness I long to just be with Rich or my family. Just knowing someone is there is enough for me at that time. When I am ill it seems that is all that matters, to know that someone cares. It is enough at that time. I don't care much about stuff, going out or buying something for myself that I want or think I might need. I don't care if we are out of food or whatever, who cares is where I am at. At that time all I can think about is a warm hand on my leg, a hug, or a shoulder to cry on and getting out of the hell I am suffering. Life shrinks to that level when you are ill. All else is just meaningless crap, besides the love. Oh and the drugs but I won't go there.

Now when I begin to feel better all of that changes and human nature takes over once again. As soon as I feel better I start to think outside my illness box. Hummmm I want to spend some money, just get out, even if it is a movie, going to Dollar General or Walgreens. My world gets a little bigger. I get more touchy with Rich and more argumentative, like my usual self. I start to let all the little things I hear or see annoy me. I want to speak out and disagree with people. Yes, that is my nature. I love a good arguement espeically when I am right, which is most of the time. hahaha! I like this no one to argue back so as usual I am right. LOL

I am laughing as I am getting ready at noon to go out tonight with my girls. It will take me that long to get myself together, especially since I haven't been out in a while and I have to wear this damn push up bra :) Ahhhh my own selfish human nature. Feeding into the world that I have to look a certain way to go out in public. But for me it is different. I have a strong appreciation for my human nature which isn't there on many days except to sit and mend. I appreciate that this bra can make me look and feel better about my outward appearance when I know inside it looks like a mudslide. Ugly and angry. So why can't I let my human nature take over? Once in a while I do deserve to feel good on the outside because it helps me clean up the inside. If that makes any sense at all to anyone, it does to me. Although I am pretty sure by the time they get here I am going to be so wore out I won't want to go but I will push on! I will put on the face, I will go, and I will have fun. I will pay for it for a few days but it will be worth it!

Human nature. What a concept. What a truth. Watch the next time you are out in public as human nature surrounds you. Selfishness at times but kindness also from someone you have never met. I always find it extremely entertaining to go out in public because I don't do it very much. Human nature/behavior has always fascinated me.

So as I prepare to get myself ready to go out into the world I think I will meditate on my own human nature. I will think about, hopefully, having the opportunity to help someone while I am out there. A smile,  a listening ear, a kindness to someone who is working at a place I may go. Something that goes beyond a normal everyday human nature to something bigger and better. I hope you are able to do the same with your day and your life as your human nature takes you down this rode called life.

God Bless!


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