Monday, February 6, 2012

Seasons Change

We have all heard the two simple words season change. Like I have wrote before I wake up everyday with a song playing in my head and this morning the song was Seasons Change. As I was hearing the melody play out in my head the only the words that came were seasons change, people change. The tune continued in my head as I laid there trying to loosen up, I started to think about the words seasons change. Yup, sorry I am thinking again so here it goes.

Seasons change. They sure do. When you are younger you think of the actual seasons. You can't wait for summer or maybe winter. You are a kid you love every season and you really don't care or complain  about any of them because life is an adventure, weather means nothing. Then as the years go on and you grow up and are shoved into the real world the seasons can bring frustration and worry. Winter driving, spring clean up, summer heat, fall raking leaves on top of all your other responsibilities the seasons just look like more work and more worry on top of the other stresses of your life.

Like the song, Seasons Change, some may think of love, like the song. Love changes over time, there is no doubt about that. Sadly people fall in and out of love. Love either grows or withers. I have never understood how that works with love. For me I could never understand how people can fall madly in love, get married, have children and fall out of love. Having someone to share all those experiences, to me, is one of the greatest wonders in life I cannot imagine ever trading Rich in for another model. For us our love grows deeper with every passing year and we would be very lost without one another. I am sad that people do not take that commitment more serious. Love is not a game to me but then I also do not know others circumstances so I cannot say or judge anyone for what happens to them, I am just saying for me. It seems for Rich and I love came and stays easy, almost to easy. We are blessed and we do believe we were made for one another.

The worst part about the words seasons change have to do with living with this thing called chronic illness. Boy, seasons do change when this is the season you are hit with especially if this season never goes away. Oh it waxes and wanes and may even get better certain times of the year for some but it is a BIG season change. This time I'm not talking about the symptoms but the season changes of your life, your hopes, your dreams. Many of your big dreams, changed. Your desires to do the things you have dreamed of, changed. Your appreciation for life, changed. Your appreciation for people, changed. It is the hardest part of becoming ill. It isn't the illness it is the seasons changed that are the hardest to accept. You try, as hard as you can to adapt to the new seasons of your life. You take them one day at a time. While others are looking forward to the season change of spring to summer you are thinking, summer is coming. Invitations to outings that you wonder if you will be able to attend. You worry about the heat knocking you on you butt. You worry about all the things no one else needs to have concern over. You worry about the things you always want to do but in the back of your mind you almost know the answer before it even gets here. You always keep the hope that this maybe the time I can do it but...

The biggest season change for me has been the thought that when my children grew up and were at least in college I was going to go back to work, or even possibly go back to school. I always dreamed of being a nurse because of my love and compassion for people. My seasons changed, at least for now. My seasons consist of getting out of bed and at least keeping my house picked up so I can feel good in the space I am tied to because of my season change. It is all good. I was talking to my mom last night and I said to her we really are very fortunate. Could you imagine if it was Rich who was the one who was ill and not me? What would we do? I have no skills, so yes we are blessed in our season change. See why God put us together, he know! Then my mother said, "Well, you would just have to move in with us then." I have wonderful parents. Selfless people whom are good to us and others. I am blessed! Amongst all your seasons change there is always good you just have to keep your eyes open wide enough to see all of it. It is the simple things like I always say! When you are busy you never really notice them.

In ending my point is we all have season change, those who are ill and those who are not. We all must adapt to our own season change in our own way. Many times we do not want to adapt to our season change but what other choice do we have? It isn't easy. I flip flop from one day to another accepting then fighting my season change. Today I am okay with it. I am sure you are the same in what ever your season change is, it all depends on what that is for you. Like I said before what other choice do we have?

God Bless!


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