Tuesday, March 13, 2012

It's All In What You Tell Yourself

                                                              I am so happy one of my friends posted this today. I need it that is for sure. I woke up at 5am with a headache and horrible neck pain but figured I could just sleep it off. As usual, I was wrong. I kept waking up every half hour fighting the thought that I really should take something. I don't understand my way of thinking when I need to take a medication. I will fight it for hours hoping that in some odd way I will win and the pain will go away. I try to 'will' my way out of pain. Of course, it never works and in the end I always end up having to take something. I always think to myself what a dummy you are. If you would have taken the medication at the start of the pain you could have saved yourself a lot of pain and a lot of mind torture. Like the quote above the things we tell ourselves have great value in our healing. I tell myself I am weak if I take the meds. In reality I know I am not weak, just ill, but sometimes I just don't want to be. Rephrase, I don't want to be ill at all but it is what it is. It is what I have been given. I have to continue to stay positive about it and block out those negative thoughts. I think this quote was posted for me today as I am in more pain the past few days. This always happens a few days before my shots. Symptoms return. I don't want them to but they do. I will make the best of it. I think I will go outside today and force myself to walk and soak up some sun. Yes! I am going to go outside spread my arms out and look up to the sun and be thankful. Thankful for all I have and I will not dwell on what I don't have. My health. In the midst of all of the hell I live I have so much good and for that I am thankful!

God Bless!

Dianne

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